Wednesday, July 27, 2005

The Temporal

This is a journal entry from April 8, 2002. At the time I had been married for about 9 months. It had been a hard nine months. I had been very sick since about a month after we got married, had had to drop out of school, couldn't take care of the house, and most days could barely sit up without assistance. But God is faithful. He teaches us things even when we don't think we should be required to learn anything at the moment. So here is my entry. I plan to follow it up with some post reflection on the subject as well as some Bible verses.______________________________
I've been really struggling the past few weeks with being really depressed. Mainly due to the fact that I have been in a lot of pain and on a lot of drugs and unable to drive myself anywhere and often unable to really do what I need to around the house. I was getting down, and crying all the time and just getting so discouraged. And I wasn't responding right at all. I was losing sight of striving to be thankful for this and not praying and not being in the word. I'm still struggling with that actually, but that is another entry.
But I was reading the book "Under the Mercy" (which I wouldn't really recommend, but it had some good aspects about it) and he brought up the point that all things are temporary.
But let me go back. As Christians we often say and hear "and this too shall pass" It could really be called a Christian cliche. But until recently I didn't realize what the truth of that statement really was. When we say it, what we usually mean is that the current state of trial and tribulation will be over before we know it and we'll look back on it and realize it wasn't so bad afterall. And sometimes that is true. But the real truth is that all of this will pass. The illness, the financial troubles, the relationship problems, the happy lazy Saturdays, the good time with your spouse, the money, the possesions, the beating of your heart. When we tell a fellow Christian that "this too shall pass" we are right but it must never mean "you will be delivered of this before you taste death" for that isn't always the truth. Everything on this earth, everything we work so hard to scheive, every trial will all end- all of it is temporary against the backdrop of eternity.
And that is what put things in perspective for me. I was really beginning to feel like I couldn't go on living like this. Not that I was hoping for death, but that if the situation didn't changes that I would simply succumb to the depression. But God is showing me that I won't go on living like this-not in eternity. And ultimately that's what really counts. To live is Christ and to die is gain. To quote Caedoms Call "this world has nothing for me and this world has everything. All that I could want and nothing that I need" I love my husband, our home, our family, the church, the work God has given me to do-all of it. But is truly all that matters. And if I am very ill for the rest of my time here on earth it will pass. Pass into something that is beyond my comprehension.


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