To Love, Honor, and Obey

He Will Provide the Way of Escape

2011-05-17T12:16:00.000-05:00

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Cor 10:13 ESV

I have had cause recently to think about this verse. To be honest I think for the past few years I had let myself forget that it existed. Let me elaborate.

I sin. Probably no big shock. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that you do as well. The problem though doesn't lie just in that. Don't get me wrong- sin is a big problem. So big in fact that God sent His son to die. But the further problem comes in when we think we have no choice but to sin. That somehow whatever circumstance that was before us was so unique and so powerful that there was no other option for us but to sin. For me the mental justification usually is along the lines of crazy post-partum hormones, crazy pregnant hormones, lack of sleep, or a personal "favorite" if they hadn't sinned first then I wouldn't have sinned second. Hormones, lack of sleep, and people sinning against you are very real temptations. But they aren't anything that is not common to man. They don't suddenly make God not faithful. They don't suddenly vanquish the Spirit from my life. In every situation that I have sinned it is because I made a choice- I did not take the way of escape that was provided for me by God. I know that one was there because God said it was. And I can believe Him or I can choose not to. I am going to choose to believe Him.

Practically what does this mean? I mean it kind of seems like I am saying that it isn't inevitable that I sin. In fact that is exactly what I am saying. And I am saying it because I believe the Bible says it. The problem I think so many of us have (many times myself included) is that when we look at scripture like 1 Cor 10:13 the first thing that comes to mind is all the times I have sinned since becoming Christ's. I greatly desire to interpret this passage through my own experience, when instead I should be looking at my life and asking why it isn't lining up with the truth clearly shown in scripture. When my life does not line up with scripture then the problem isn't with the truth of scripture- it is with my life. The other problem I know I have when thinking about this is the temptation to think ahead to all the times in the future that I know I'll be tempted to sin and think it is utterly impossible that I'll always follow God in the way of escape. The solution for this is two-fold: first and most importantly it is impossible for me in my power to obey God. Completely impossible. But it isn't impossible for God. He has given me everything needed for life and Godliness (2 Pet. 1:3) and if I come to Him and obey through His power, His spirit, His work then it isn't impossible. If I try to obey through my power I might succeed a time or two, but ultimately I will sin. And truly obeying through my power isn't success, it is self-reliance which has no place in the life of the Christian. The second solution to the overwhelming idea of obeying God in all circumstances is to stop worrying about tomorrow for sufficient for the day is it's own troubles (Matt 6:34). In fact, we are commanded not to worry, so to do so is sin. But that is the good news- if we aren't to worry because God has commanded us not to then we don't have to try and not worry through our own power- this is something else that God will work in us and for us to do!

So what to do with this? Choose to believe God. Choose to say to Him "God I choose to obey you and I choose to do it only in your power, through your spirit." Get up in the morning and do not be anxious (Phil 4:6-7), but pray to our great God to show you the way of escape, pray about specific areas of temptation that you know will arise, and pray for the ones that you don't know about so they don't catch you off guard. And if we do sin, we have an advocate with the Father (1 John 2:1). We can confess our sins and we are forgiven. We do need to confess our sins, even if we are already Christians. Don't neglect this. Confess to the Lord, immediately and fully. Recognize that it is sin against the Holy and living God, not something to be down played in your mind and heart. Name the sin for what it is, repent, and ask God for His power to take the way of escape next time.

Scripture to reflect on on this topic:

But you know that he appeared so that he might take away our sins. And in him is no sin. No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him. 1 John 3:5-6

No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God. 1 John 3:9

We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the one who was born of God keeps him safe, and the evil one cannot harm him.1 John 5:18 By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that comes by faith. By faithAbraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. (Hebrews 11:7-8 NIV)

Through him and for his name’s sake, we received grace and apostleship to call

people from among all

the Gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith. (Romans 1:5 NIV)

... but now revealed and made known through the prophetic writings by the command of the eternal God, so that all nations might believe and obey him. (Romans 16:26 NIV)

And because the whole passage is just too wonderful:

Romans 6: What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 By no means! How can nwe who died to sin still live in it? 3 Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized pinto Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4 We wereqburied therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as rChrist was raised from the dead by sthe glory of the Father, we too might walk in tnewness of life.5 For uif we have been united with him in va death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. 6 We know thatwour old self1 xwas crucified with him in order that ythe body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. 7 For zone who has died ahas been set free2 from sin. 8 Nowbif we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.9 We know that cChrist, being raised from the dead, will never die again; ddeath no longer has dominion over him. 10 For the death he died he died to sin, eonce for all, but the life he lives he lives to God.11 So you also must consider yourselves fdead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.12 Let not gsin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. 13 hDo not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but ipresent yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. 14 For jsin kwill have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace. 15 What then? lAre we to sin mbecause we are not under law but under grace? By no means! 16 Do you not know that if you present yourselves nto anyone as obedient slaves,3 you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17 But othanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to thepstandard of teaching to which you were committed, 18 and, qhaving been set free from sin, rhave become slaves of righteousness. 19 sI am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations. Fortjust as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members uas slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification.20 vFor when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. 21 wBut what fruit were you getting at that time from the things xof which you are now ashamed? yFor the end of those things is death. 22 But now that you zhave been set free from sin andahave become slaves of God, bthe fruit you get leads to sanctification and cits end, eternal life. 23 dFor the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

And of course and very importantly in the end when we don't sin, when we flee to God and take the way of escape it is God who deserves the credit, the Glory, the praise. It was Him who provided the way, the power, the strength. Indeed it is His spirit that allows us to even know that there is a way of escape to begin with. We work out our salvation with fear and trembling for it is the Spirit of God that works in us. None of this is cause for boasting in our own strength for we have none. But praise be to God that we need none of our own. Praise Him for the faith that makes obedience not only possible, but easy and normal. Praise Him for the gift of His son that makes the faith possible. Praise Him.

Guest Post: Stuff Christian's Like

2010-04-06T10:37:00.000-05:00

The “Is that contestant on American Idol a Christian? Scorecard”

40. They scrawl some sort of secret alphanumeric Bible code on a piece of their clothing, e.g. “PH4:13.” = + 2 points

To add up your score with over a 130 other ideas on this scorecard, visit stuffchristianslike.net.

(While there check out Jon's other great posts. This guy should be on your bloglines.)

A Cloth Diaper Rant

2010-02-08T10:07:00.000-06:00

We are going on a trip tomorrow. And by we I mean just me and the girls (I have 3 under 5). We will be gone for a month. I have opted to use disposable diapers while gone. In the past I have done these trips both ways (cloth or disposable, usually disposable for sort trips and cloth for long) and really cloth isn't that big of under taking. But this go around there are more children, my husband can't come, and I am not well going to visit family members that are even sicker. So we are doing disposable. I hate disposable. They are flimsy and leak and cause rashes. Does it seem at all right to anyone else that food products have to list all of their ingredients but not diapers? I mean these are chemicals that we are putting next to the most sensitive parts of babies for 24 hours a day for something like 3 years. Shouldn't we get to know what those chemicals are? And what chemicals are going to the landfills for that matter? And if you are advertising your product as "natural wipes" all of the ingredients you use should be pronounceable by people even if they don't have chemistry degrees.

This is the third baby I have cloth diapered. I didn't hate disposables with the first. In fact, if we had had more money I might have never tried cloth. But my husband was in grad school and cloth seemed like a great way to save money. And it was. By my last estimate I think I have saved about $4,000 these past 5.5 years. (More than paid for that fancy washer and dryer that are downstairs). With each baby I have fallen more and more in love with cloth diapers. And I have also learned with works well and what is worth spending your money on and what isn't. I wrote a review of diapers a while back and "reviewed" a brand that I hadn't tried but really wanted to. Unfortunately they didn't work well at all. And they were expensive to boot. So first piece of advice- don't buy boutique diapers. If they are so cute you can barely stand to put clothes over them chances are they don't work very well. Any diaper that has cotton on the outside of the water proof layer (PUL) is prone to leaking, some more than others but they all have this design flaw. Same with diapers that take ordinary material and convert it to waterproof. They will be fine for awhile but you will have problems later. If you want super cute diapers find a pattern online and make them yourself. You will have the same design problems, but at least they will have been inexpensive.

For the newborn/small infant stage pre-folds and inexpensive covers are my favorite. You are changing their diaper so often that you don't need a bunch of bulk for absorbency. In fact the first few weeks I use a baby washcloth and a piece of fleece for diapers. After that my favorite (and the ones that have stood the test of time) are Mother Ease. I have used both their one size diapers and their All-in ones. Both have lasted through an amazing amount of use and have proven themselves as working incredibly well. In fact I am still using the ones I bought when my first was a newborn for baby number three. They are just now starting to lose some of their absorbency. Which is to say they still work, but I have to change them more often than I used to. Next month when I return from our trip I am buying more to replace diapers of a different brand that my little one has out grown. (They were a gift and much appreciated, even if they don't work quite as well as motherease.) And from here on out I will never buy any other diapers except prefolds and motherease. There simply is no point when they work so well and are so economical.

I wish more moms would give cloth a try. You save so much money, you cut down on diaper rashes, your baby is exposed to less and it is better for the environment. Basically, every one wins! Yes, they are little more effort, but not that much. And no chance of ever having to make a late night run to the store because you are out of diapers! Just toss them in the wash. So if you are on the fence about this, give it a go. You don't have to use them very long in order to break even and then you can sell them and actually come out ahead, so even if you hate cloth diapering you are out nothing but a little time. And I can pretty much guarantee that if you go with motherease diapers, you won't hate cloth diapering.

I have a theory

2010-02-03T11:03:00.000-06:00

That the vast majority of parents (approximately 76.9%) who have a television let their children watch about 2.3 times more TV than they will ever admit to watching to either their Christian or academic friends. I'm certain of it.

On that note, did you know that 82.5% of statistics are made up on the spot?

Food for thought.

I wish I was funnier....

2010-02-03T10:59:00.000-06:00

And that I had a funny blog. But I am just not, and I don't. I do better with passion and critique than humor. And while I might say something sarcastic on here ever now and then that warrants a chuckle, this blog certainly isn't laugh out loud funny. Maybe I should start posting clips from "The Big Bang Theory" on here, then you would laugh. That show is fantastic. But in the mean time, this blog might be getting temporarily funnier. Jon Acuff, the man behind the curtain over at Stuff Christian Like has offered to guest post on peoples blogs in the advance of his up coming book release. (The book sounds great, looking forward to reading it). He made the offer for anyone- whether you have 2 readers or 200, which I think is pretty cool. You can find a link to his site on my side bar under "it's funny 'cause it's true" which it is. Evangelical Christendom as a sub-culture can be pretty amusing when you stop to think about it and I think it is good to be able to laugh at yourself. So stay tuned. My thoughts about the stay art home daughter movement are also forth coming. Just in case you don't like to laugh. In the mean tim, add Jon to you RSS feed, his blog is a great blend of humor, insight, love (for lack of a better word). Anyway, go read. He actually posts regularly.

And because you should watch this clip.....

Well, so much for regular posting...

2010-02-02T10:07:00.000-06:00

In December I had so many things I wanted to write about: further thoughts on children, on marriage, thoughts about Advent, about the Theotokos (mother of God) and evangelical fear of her, and just a general "family update." None of that happened. Oh well. We had a wonderful December all the same, and January has been very crazy.

We have been renting a little (kinda run down) house for about a year and a half. It wasn't perfect, but it worked. Enough room for our stuff and close to work. But it was on a death hill with a hidden driveway and no fence around the yard. Not the most ideal circumstance when you have three small children who seem to not hate sunshine as much as you do. So we have been keeping our eye on the paper for other rentals. Ideally we would love to buy again (I miss home ownership for many many reasons) but we don't know if this job is long term or short term yet and would like to have a better idea of that before committing to a mortgage. But on January 6 my husband found an add new to the paper that day about a house in the area we wanted, big enough for the whole crew, and even in our price range. We saw it on the 8th and then moved in on the 16th. All really fast considering on the 14th we didn't know we were moving and by the afternoon of the 15th I had maybe two boxes packed. But we have an amazing church family and they came over Friday evening (one family) and then a whole crew saturday and just got it done. Really amazing. So now we are in this incredible new home that I love so much and that is starting to come together. It is a lot more space than what we are used to and I have discovered that after over a year in a one story place that I am out of shape. These stairs are killing me. And they are trying to kill the baby. She thinks she is hot stuff and one of the big girls and just should go where ever they do. Which means going up the stairs- usually quietly and fast when mommy's back is turned. We just got our washer and dryer here yesterday. So picture if you will a family of 5 (with one baby in cloth diapers) and 2.5 weeks of not doing laundry. It is scary around here. But my husband assures me he can get them all hooked up tonight. Hurray. Last week I bought the big girls new jeans just so we had enough clothes. (some might suggest going to a laundromat, to be honest it didn't occur to me....)

So that is the first part of the summary. The second is that the girls and I are going to Idaho for a month starting next week to spend time with my Dad. He is in the end stages of congestive heart failure, and although this might not be the last time we see him, there is a very good chance of it. Both of my brothers will be there too (we all have the same dad, but different moms) and I am looking forward to all of being in the same place at the same time. That has only happened once before and it was 16 years ago now.

All that to say, I have a lot I want to write about. But might not for awhile. Although I just saw the movie "The Return of the Daughters" and have much to say about it and would love to process that out loud here.

If you are still around, thanks for reading!

Disclaimer

2009-11-12T11:43:00.000-06:00

The title of my blog is To Love, Honor, and Obey. Obviously you know that already. My point is that I chose it for a reason. It is what I vowed on my wedding day, and very purposely vowed at that. The pastor performing the ceremony (my pastor from growing up, but who had since moved away and most pre-ceremony planning was done via email) was very against using the phrase. Or if I was going to say obey then we should both say obey. I would have loved to have an in depth conversation about it with him, pouring over scripture together, and who knows maybe even coming to his same conclusion- but he didn't bring the objection up till about 5 min before I walked down the isle (and based the objection on a more cultural view point rather than the Bible), so alas there wasn't much conversation to be had. :) Which was fine. Ultimately when it come to wedding vows I think a person needs to pick them for themselves- afterall it is what YOU are vowing to do and be for as long as you both shall live. It is pretty weighty stuff. So to included or not to include a phrase because it is popular or not popular is silly. But so is to include something just because it is traditional. Like the word Obey. Really what is meant is "submit" not obey. Most modern couples who use the word obey in their vows are referencing the verses that tell "wives submit to your husbands as unto the Lord". These verses don't say "obey your husbands" and I think if that was what was meant then that is what would be used because in most passages addressing this issue children are told to obey their parents as is fitting in the Lord. The command to obey seems to me to be something different than submit. Now, at this point I am not sure what the nuances are, but I think it is likely significant that children are told in multiple places to obey but never to submit and wives are told to submit but never told to obey. I'm still trying to work all this out in my mind.

Does that mean I wish I hadn't used the work obey? Not at all. I used the word obey purposefully. I used it even being given an updated list of various vow suggestions (in pre-marital counseling- with a different pastor than who performed the ceremony) that used submit instead. It is what I meant to say, meant to vow, and attempt to live. Most of the time I think I do pretty well at it for that matter. But my disclaimer comes in here- not everyone needs to vow to obey. And not everyone needs to take my perspective on what it means to submit. When I started this blog it was with the intention of writing mostly on the husband wife relationship, which I haven't really done much. That is largely due to realizing that what my husband and I have works very very well for us. It fits who we are: our personalities, our strengths, our weaknesses. And it is something that we work well together at, as equals, figuring out how to keep things running smoothly and in a way that causes us both to thrive. And for the first few years of marriage I rather naively thought that that was how all Christian couples functioned. That telling the wife to submit as unto the Lord and the husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church was all the real direction needed. That nobody who loved Christ would abuse the relationship. There wouldn't be some sort of power struggle because the relationship would never be about power, but about sacrificial love and respect and honor. I have come to learn though that that isn't that case with everyone. One of the benefits of the internet I think is getting to meet people you wouldn't come in contact with otherwise, people who have very different life experiences than yours. And in doing so I have realized that in the practical day to day living my marriage probably looks a lot more Egalitarian than it does Complementarian. Which is fine by me. But not everyone who I would say "yes, submit to your husband as unto the Lord" will have the same experience. I don't know yet what to do with that.

So this is my disclaimer: I vowed to Love, Honor, and Obey. I still mean it. And for me, it is a beautiful thing. Please however, don't take my life or writings, musings, etc and make some sort of doctrine out of it for yourself. This is something, like parenting, that is so important to figure out where you are at and how it should play out in your home. A biblical truth upheld doesn't have to look the same in every believers life. In fact I don't really think that it should. I stand by submission, just perhaps not in the same way I did when this blog started.

Biblical Parenting

2009-11-05T12:09:00.000-06:00

Because it isn't really fair to spend a whole post critiquing a philosophy without putting forth my own for critique, I bring you this post. But as a brief disclaimer I don't have this all worked out in detail and am still very much in process. This is most definitely not meant to tell anyone else how to raise their children. That is between you and God.

Which brings me to the topic: Biblical Parenting. May I just say that I don't think there is any such thing. Or at least not how the phrase is typically used. If by Biblical parenting we mean living our lives in the way God directs us, honoring Him, showing His love to those in our charge, to those we meet along the way, giving the glory for our lives to Christ, living out his redeeming work on the cross, and being able to give an answer for the hope that is in us- then yes, sign me up for Biblical Parenting. However, if by Biblical parenting we mean a certain way to relate to our children, a certain way to punish them, a certain way to address disobedience and sin, then no thank you.

So what then do I want my parenting to look like? What do I want it to accomplish? When they are thirty and have families of their own, what will I consider success to look like?

I want my parenting to look, sound, smell, and taste like Christ. To quote a friend, I want the "sweet aroma of Christ" to permeate every aspect of my home and interaction with my family. This is no small goal. I think the first way that this begins is to consider myself a servant of my family. Not in a "I wait on you hand and foot" sort of servant. Or even "I never tell you what to do" sort of servant. But rather, my life for yours sort of servant. Christ poured His life out for us, and that is what I desire to do for my family- children included. I am still working out the practical details of this though. I think it would be easy for me to allow this mindset to let me justify too low of expectations in behavior, to shrug away disobedience. But that certainly isn't what Christ does for us- He tells us to be perfect as His Father is perfect. He tells us that those who love Him obey his commands. But here is the kicker- He then gives us the power to do it. He doesn't expect us to do it on our own. It is the spirit of God dwelling within us that He gave us that enables us to become more and more like Him. Likewise, if I want to give my children high goals to reach and expect obedience from them even when it is difficult, it is me that needs to make that possible.

So how do I do that? First way I think is very easy- tell them what I expect of them. If we are about to get out of the car in the parking lot and I want them to wait by their door for me to come to them, I need to tell them. If I want them to stay out of the bag of candy I left open on the table they need to know that. These are things that seem obvious to adults (of course I don't want you to have 3 snickers bars for breakfast!) but to children they aren't. The second way is to make obedience possible by considering their capabilities. This means that if you have tired and hungry children who want a cookie from the dessert table at church and you don't want them to touch every cookie on the plate that having them go sit down while you get the cookies is a good idea. Would it be good for them to be able to look at the cookies without touching? Sure. But it might be asking too much of them. These are things we need to know. And to know that we need to know our children. Really know them. Their personality quirks, their likes, their weaknesses, what their little looks mean. God knows each and every hair on our head, He understands us better than we do ourselves. And although we might be able to know our children that intimately, we can *really* know them I think. But a big part of that is getting to know them how they truly are, how God made them, rather than figuring out who we want them to be and then trying to teach them to become that person. It isn't that we don't need to teach them things, but I want to focus more on teaching them skills, not personality.

The big thing for me is that my life should be something that they would desire. If my life is repugnant to them why would they want to obey my rules? Why would they want to learn my skills? And most importantly, why would they want to obey my God? There is a wonderful piece written here about this very things. My favorite part:

Your children, O Christian parent, want a Peace and have ample time to perceive it in you. If you have it, Peace not merely placidity, do you know why and can you communicate that why? If they want to be like you (does anyone want to be like you?), they will want to know and they will follow.

(As an aside: they don't want denominational/orthodox peace first and foremost so don't base the home order on catechizing. They need to see you satisfied by the Love of God, obedient by grace not Law, loving your neighbor as yourself, living by reason not passion).

That for me sums up what my parenting should look like. It should look like Christ. I have some of the details worked out, but still working on the rest. I know that I am in a family to serve, not be served. That if I want obedient children I need to give them the tools to do that. I know that if my life isn't worth emulating I have missed the mark not only as a parent but a Christ follower as well. Another post to follow on what I consider success to be and what I consider to be the important things to teach and such. Until then, off to seek the sweet aroma of Christ.

Where the Wild Things Are

2009-11-03T12:50:00.000-06:00

I know where they are. They are at my house. When the wild rumpus is over I will post again.

The Weight of Glory

2009-10-21T13:40:00.001-05:00

I love this offering from C.S. Lewis. I love pretty much all things Lewis, but this ranks as one of my favorites. I think it is very applicable to the discussion on parenting.

It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbour. The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbour’s glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken. It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilization—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit—immortal horrors or everlasting splendours. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously—no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. And our charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner—no mere tolerance or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment. Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbour is the holiest object presented to your senses. If he is your Christian neighbour he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ vere latitat—the glorifier and the glorified, Glory Himself, is truly hidden.”

If I had readers this would be the post where I offend them...

2009-10-21T11:40:00.003-05:00

Parenting. Big Topic. Important topic. At times, a controversial topic. This will be one of those times. Especially since I want to talk mostly about why I find one approach that I see very troubling. Which I will admit is the easy way. So much safer to pick apart some other philosophy than to put your own up for scrutiny. So in fairness I will do that as well, but for now I have a bone to pick.

I am taking issue with the idea that parenting in just the right manner can produce godly children. I'm taking issue with the idea that parenting is all about getting the children to submit to the parents' God given authority. I'm taking issue with obedience needing to be blind, immediate, and cheerful. And especially that any time our children disobey we need to make a big spiritual issue out of it.

*disclaimer: I am going to be talking about some very specific definitions that I have seen floating around in books and video series and the like. Some may associate these with particular teachers. I would like to avoid talking about specific people because I think the ideas go much further than one or two teachers. So lets just talk about the ideas*

First idea: that Proverbs 22:6 is a promise that we just simply need to claim. "Train your children up in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it". I put forth (and might be branded some sort of weirdo liberal who doesn't believe the Bible) that this isn't a promise given to us by God. If we read Proverbs as a list of rules and promises I think we have serious problems. It tells us things like the lazy man not prospering, and the wicked coming to a bad end. This doesn't always happen. At least not here on earth. It often happens, but not always. I would put forth that Proverbs is a book full of wisdom, not law. Full of observations, not promises. Teaching our children good things, and teaching them well is likely to follow them into adulthood. If they have a solid Biblical World view they can then evaluate what is thrown at them later. If they know how to work hard when they are young it won't come as such a shock later in life and they are likely to prosper. But the problem with treating Prov 22:6 as a promise to claim, and a program to follow is that it makes the parents responsible for their children becoming Christians. Yes, if the parents are bad representatives of Christ it is likely to sour their children towards God and if the parents are wonderful bearers of grace and truth and light the children are going to see something they want. But last I checked it was God who saves. It is His Spirit that indwells His children. It is Christ that is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. It will be Christ who saves my children. It will be Christ who convicts them of their sin. It will be Christ who sanctifies them. Christ has the power to do that, not me. To Him be the glory.

The next issue: that parenting is about getting children to submit to the parents God given authority. I have never ever found a verse or passage in the Bible that charges me with this. It tells children to honor their parents. It tells children to obey their parents in the Lord. It does not tell parents to make them do it. In fact it tells us to not provoke them to wrath. My perspective on this is that taking away a child's sense of self and independence, by making them submit to my personal preferences simply because they came out of me would be a sure fire way to provoke them to wrath. {It was stated in the video I saw that giving a toddler a choice between two outfit options was the beginning of giving your authority away and would lead to a rebellious teenager who wouldn't listen to you and wear a "life sucks" t-shirt instead.} I definitely see authority in the Bible. But never used as a club. And those who are "in charge" seem to be given the job of servants, not bosses. Do my children need to obey me and honor me? Yes. But is this what my relationship with them should be all about? No. No. And a thousand times NO!

I have heard it said that obedience that is not 100%, immediate, without question, and cheerful is actually disobedience. My first question is: is this how we are expected to obey God? I put forth that it is not. Once again, before I get branded a heretic, let me explain. I see over and over again in the Bible (most notably in the Old Testament) where God talks to His children. He dialogues with them. He explains Himself even though He is under no obligation to do so. He (it would seem to me) desires relationship with us, not just obedience. Yes, we show our love for Him by obeying, but if the only goal was blind obedience why was Christ necessary? If questions aren't allowed why was Abraham permitted to talk to God about His plans for Sodom and Gommorah? Why did Jacob wrestle with God? Why did God choose Thomas or Peter? Yes, God desires to bring us into a more perfect relationship with Him, but I think this is done through making us more like Him (through His spirit) where we desire to do the things of God because we are like Him, rather than doing the things of God out of fear and submission to His authority.

Finally (at least for this post) I am deeply concerned about the idea of making disobedience a spiritual issue all the time. Example: Little Johnny is playing blocks. Mom calls for Johnny to come to her in the kitchen. Johnny doesn't and keeps playing. So Mom takes Johnny aside tells him that he disobeyed. And that disobedience is Sin. And that God tells her that she has to punish/discipline little Johnny's sin. (usually in this scenario spanking it what follows). Then little johnny is informed that all is right between him and mom. One of the problem's with this I have is that it puts household "sin" on the same level with Sin against God. The only reason it is wrong for Johnny to not come when called is because that is what Mom decided. There is no list of household rule all children must obey anywhere in the Bible. Is it sin for Johnny to disobey His parents? Yes. But isn't it God's job to convict us of Sin? To forgive us of Sin? To reconcile us? To say to your child, "You sinned and God tells me I have to spank you, " is so so wrong. They sinned and God tells me that you are forgiven through the power of His blood. You sinned and God loved you while you were in that sin and sent His Son to draw you to Himself. You sinned and you are forgiven. Period. No spanking required for this process. Am I opposed to spanking? No, I am not. BUT I am very opposed to spanking as some sort of tool used to dole out reconciliation for sin. Spanking can be a very effective tool for behavior modification and even an attitude adjustment, which can be necessary for a variety of reasons. But "the rod" has no spiritual power to it. Period.

I need to stop here. There is a lot for me to process in all of this. These ideas go against a lot of what the culture around me is doing, and I find that painful at times. I know people that I respect and love that hold these views and I worry about hurting them if I express my views. I see families that are running well using these methods. Families that have raised Godly children who are now raising Godly children who are using these methods. It causes me to pause. Am I right? Are they? Does it matter? And I think it does matter. But probably not as much as I might think. Like I said, ultimately it is God who saves not me and so I have to trust Him for grace for me and my parenting and trust Him for grace for others families as well. And if I am wrong, trust Him to correct me.

I am still working out a lot of practical details of parenting in my home. My husband and I talk about all this ad naseum it seems at times. Our conclusions are still tentative, Which is a little scary to me a times. My oldest is 5 and I would liked to have the "perfect" solution to all of this by now. Some fool proof plan that produces perfect children, that doesn't offend anyone, and is easy. But that isn't life. I'm glad I haven't clung rigidly to ideas I had when my eldest was a baby. Just because you think you have it figured it out doesn't mean you do. I need to grown in wisdom and grace and know my Lord more and more and in light of that look at all that I do and make sure it lines up. Even if it is hard.

In Memory

2009-10-15T12:58:00.003-05:00

October 15 is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I wrote about this 2 years ago with a post of the same title

At that time I has lost 3 children in very early pregnancy. Since then I have lost one more. We are coming up on what would have been her first birthday.

Amenyah Zuriel 2/13/2008
truly YHWH, God is my strength

She might have been the hardest in many ways. I was far enough a long that we had had opportunity to tell all our family and friends, to tell the girls, to have enough time to really get excited. It meant a lot of phone calls and really hard conversations. Despite that though I was glad we had told so many people. We had gotten to celebrate her life and we weren't isolated in our mourning. It was just two days before my second daughter's second birthday so life couldn't stop. There was another child to celebrate. A child with bright blue eyes and dimples who gives the most amazing hugs. There is nothing quite like life to make you forget the sting of death.

I believe in the Holy Shores of Uncreated Light.
I believe there is power in the Blood.
And all of the death there ever was, if you sat it next to life;
I believe it would barely fill a cup.
For I believe there's power in the blood.
~Andrew Peterson, "Lay Me Down"

Since losing Amenyah we have had the joy to celebrate the birth of another little girl. Three girls now! That's what we tell people when they ask how many children we have. But in my heart my answer is 7. Noa, Chaim, Itiel, and Amenyah are all as much my children as the three playing next to my desk. I feel like I know them. And one day I will meet them. There was a hymn that I sung over and over again to myself and my children after losing Amenyah. And that my church was kind enough to sing the following Sunday as well.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul, It is well, with my soul, It is well, it is well, with my soul

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blest assurance control, That Christ has regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well, with my soul, It is well, with my soul, It is well, it is well, with my soul

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

There is a beautiful recording of it here.

After losing Amenyah we found out that my progesterone levels were dropping too early in pregnancy and that was why (most likely) I had lost Chaim, Itiel, and Amenyah. It was very easy to find out and fix (with the diagnosis and help of a reproductive endocrinologist) and required no major intervention or anything else in order to see the birth of our most recent child. Which is wonderful, but doesn't change that we lost them. Most people who know people who have lost babies early in pregnancy don't really know what to say I don't think. They want to help, they want to be comforting but they just don't know where to begin. Some families prefer not to talk about it, which is fine. But many people appreciate a hug, and a simple "I am so sorry." Don't try and make it easier with things like "at least is was early" or "there must have been something wrong with the embryo". Although these statements might have some truth, they don't help. Just let her be sad. Offer a meal, or to watch her other children if she has any. Miscarriages are often very hard physically and you need a chance to recoup. After losing Noa I bought a Memorial Tear necklace. I wear it when I am thinking about them a lot. Often around loss dates or due dates. Considering getting one for someone who has lost a baby, there is something comforting about having something tangible. And if you see them wearing it know that they might need an extra hug that day.

Matzo Ball Soup (aka- Jewish Penicillin)

2009-10-15T11:37:00.004-05:00

I make great Matzo Ball Soup. Especially for a little Lutheran Girl from North Idaho. :) So I thought I would share my recipe. (the photo is from tammysrecipes.com, although the recipe is not.)

The secret to any great soup is a good base. That means no store bought chicken stock! You can go about this one of two ways. You can buy an already roasted chicken to make stock from or you can roast your own. I am going to assume you know how to roast a chicken. If you don't, I highly recommend using America's Test Kitchen recipe for it.

Stock

Take your carcass from your chicken. You want to kake sure there is still some meat and skin and definitely fat drippings, but you can use the chicken for a meal or two and still have enough on the bones to make stock. Put chicken in stock pot and cover with water.

Other ingredients:

two purple onions
4-6 carrots
3-4 cellery stalks with the leaves still on
whole head of garlic
tsp of cloves
spices- salt, pepper, savory, basil, thyme (to taste). Go light on the salt, you can always add more later.
parsley
lemon zest
approx 1/4 c balsamic vinegar

Roughly chop and add all ingredients except the last three. You can leave the paper on the garlic and the onion, just take the very outer layer off for cleanliness. Cover and bring to a boil. Turn down (leaving covered! this is important, you don't want to expose broth to bacteria!) and let simmer 12-24 hours. When you are done simmering add the remaining three ingredients and bring to a boil for approx 10 minutes. Strain out all ingredients (I use a mesh colander) and then put back on stove. Boil it down to get a richer tasting broth and to conserve space in your freezer.

Ok, now you have the base for matzo ball soup. You need just need to make the soup!

Ingredients:

Chicken (I sometimes leave this out)
Carrots
Celery
Onions.
Garlic
Matza Balls (recipe below)

Other optional ingredients:

Broccoli
Leeks
Barley

Take your veggies and chop them fine for soup. I like a lot of veggies, do the amount that suits you. You then want to saute them. You aren't going for a long saute here. Something shorter that leaves them (especially the carrots and onions) slightly caramalized and still with some crispness. After you do this add your stock and barley (if using) and simmer together for about 30 min (longer is fine).

Matzo Balls

1 Cup Matzo Meal (not matzo ball mix!)
4 large Eggs
1/4 C veg oil
1/4 C seltzer water
1 tsp salt
dash of pepper, thyme, and Za'atar

Beat the eggs. Add Seltzer, oil, and spices. Mix well. Add Matzo meal and mix. Refrigerate for 1/2-1 hour. Moisten the palm of your hands with cold water and form the matzo balls. Use about 1 tsp to form balls 1/2 inch in diameter. Bring your soup to a boil and drop Matzo Balls into the soup. Cook for about 15-20 min. Then your soup is ready!

This is called Jewish Penicillin due to all the good things it has in it from the home made stock. The vitamins and minerals you get from this sort of stock are so good for you- especially during cold and flu season or while sick. I use this stock as the base for all my soups.

This is great to serve with a salad or sandwiches, but is also really a meal unto itself. Enjoy!

The Duggars

2009-10-15T11:13:00.004-05:00

I must confess- I love the Duggars. I love the number of children they have. I love the sense of calm and peace that Mrs. Duggar always has regardless of the noise level. I love that she doesn't equate noise with disobedience. I love that they built their home without going into debt and did a large part of the work themselves, designing something that met their needs- not something ridiculously overkill. I love that all their children's names start with "J" and that they do dorky things like dress in matching colors when going out. It makes me happy.

Last night I watched a new episode (via DVR) where their first grandchild was born. It was great. And I was struck by these two newly married people who also have a home, and their own business, and good heads on their shoulders. Anna went into labor early and her doctor was out of town. So rather than go into a birthing situation they were uncomfortable with they took charge of it themselves and had the baby at home (with the help of a doula). It was such a good example of two people who don't feel pressured to do things the "expected" way.

Now, I don't think I'll be having 19 children myself. But you never know. I don't think the Duggars thought they would be either when they just had 3. Do I want to do everything like them? No. For one, I really dislike their swimwear. :) And if I have 19 children my suspicion is many of them will be adopted. (my health simply wouldn't permit that many biological children, and I have always wanted to adopt). But to each their own. And that is why I love the Duggars most of all. They have figured out what works best for their family and that is what they do. Not what Parenting magazine has determined is best, or any other source. I can respect that.

So that is my foray back into blogging- I love the Duggars. Hopefully more post to follow.

The timing seems fitting...

2008-06-11T09:23:00.003-05:00

"The major problem--one of the major problems, for there are several--one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.
To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem."

~Douglas Adams
from The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (1980)

On Humility

2008-01-18T12:34:00.001-06:00

There is an absolutely fantastic post at Roots by the River from yesterday. On the nature of Humility and Pride. I strongly recommend you check it out. Jim Wilson is an amazing brother in the faith. If you have bloglines, I can't stress enough how wonderful it is to have his blog on there. Typically his manner of teaching is to read scripture, relate an observation, and then comment on it all with yet more scripture. Good food for the soul.

Works for Me Wednesday

2008-01-16T16:11:00.001-06:00

You may have noticed, I'm jumping back in to blog world with two feet. First a new post, then a "Kitchen Tip Tuesday" and now a "Works for Me Wednesday". WFMW is something I have seen around the blogsphere for awhile now and always wanted to do. It is just a fun concept- you just share something in your life you found to work well. It is hosted by Shannon, and at the bottom of her post (like with Kitchen Tips) you can find links to everyone else who is participating and learn a thing or two. You can also spend too much time surfing the web, but that is a topic for another day.

My first WFMW is decidedly female oriented. So male readers, you might just want to come back tomorrow. If you're married, or have sisters, or had a mother my hope is that this wouldn't seem weird, but I do like to give fair warning.

Mama Cloth. That is what works for me. Mama cloth is the cloth diaper of the female sanitary product world. Instead of using something that is scratchy, filled with chemicals, backed with adhesive, and that I always seemed to forget to buy anyway- I use something which is cloth, soft and easy on my skin, reusable, and simple.

If you read my post from Sunday, you already know I do cloth diapers. So Mama Cloth isn't a big leap. You can simply wash them with your diapers. But doing cloth diapers isn't a requirement. In fact, I think Mama Cloth is far simpler than cloth diapering.

A couple of selling points:

You aren't going to spend anymore money on cloth, in fact in most cases you will save money
They can be washed with other laundry (diapers, towels) and so aren't adding any extra effort to you week
You always have them-no running to the store because you forgot to buy them!
Less chemicals next to your body= a healthier you
You are doing something good for the planet. True, we aren't talking mounds and mounds of garbage, but any cut back is good.
They work well- I have far less issues with cloth than I ever did with disposable
Lots to choose from- pretty colors, different thickness, more choices than you'll ever get at Target
Encourages one to not be embarrassed about menstruation. No, I'm not suggesting we have fertility goddess celebrations, but really this isn't something that needs to be such a hush-hush topic. After all, this is what enables us to have children. And children are amazing. It is something that virtually all women experience, and while I am very pro-modesty there is nothing immodest about embracing menstruation as part of being a women and not something to be ashamed of.

I use Mother of Eden brand (the same people who make Fuzzi Bunz) and highly recommend them. But like with cloth diapers, there are many cloth pads to choose from. Just find one that works for you. This has been Works for Me Wednesday.

Coexist?

2008-01-15T19:06:00.000-06:00

This is a bumper sticker I see a lot driving the city streets. My husband just wrote a post about it over on his livejournal. His place isn't a blog, so much as a place for him to record thoughts. Read his disclaimer. That being said, it is a good read. Coexistence.

Kitchen Tip Tuesday

2008-01-15T14:16:00.001-06:00

This is my first time participating in Kitchen Tip Tuesday, hosted by Tammy's Recipes.
She is a fantastic blogger (who I have been meaning to get up on my side bar!) who posts recipes, along with pictures of her actual food, and thoughts on life and mothering and cooking and cleaning with small children under foot. Absolutely love her.

So, here is my first foray into Kitchen Tip Tuesdays :

Kitchen Scissors.
These are the kitchen scissors I use, the Henckel Kitchen Shears which I picked up at target for about $15. My knife block (also Henckel) has a spot for them, and I use them daily. My most common uses:

Cutting up toddler food (makes cutting pasta, grapes, etc. SOOOO much faster and simpler)
Cutting up herbs
Cutting open packages
Cutting kitchen twine
Cutting dough

It is the cutting up toddler food that I find these to be the biggest help for. There is rarely a meal that I don't need to make food smaller for my 2 year old, and some food can be so time consuming. But with these shears it takes me about 15 seconds to turn a bowl of pasta into a toddler friendly meal. These scissors are very durable. I actually melted part of the handles on the stove at one time (oops) but the handles still held their shape, and they work just as well as the day I bought them.

They make a great wedding shower gift, or gift for that practical woman in your life. And if you like colorful things (you know who you are, Miranda) other brands make pretty ones. I just wanted mine to match my knives.

Go check out other great tips over at Tammy's. Just don't go hungry, it will only make it worse.

Cloth Diapers

2008-01-13T14:32:00.001-06:00

Lately I have found myself going on and on about cloth diapers on forums and other peoples' blogs. They love me and put up with me, but I figured if I cared enough about said subject to take over someone else's blog, maybe I should post about it on my own.

I started out my cloth diapering when my eldest was a couple months old with Mother Ease one size diapers and Mother Ease small covers. I was immediately impressed by their quality as well as the ease of use. You see though, I bought MotherEase because I wasn't aware that there were other options. I may have bought Mother Ease anyway, but it amazes me now that I had no idea how many options were out there! About a year later I picked up a few MotherEase all in ones at a consignment store. I fell in love with the ease of an all in one, and now that is all I buy.

Perhaps though I am going about this the wrong way. Let me go over the cloth diaper vocab.

One size (OS): diapers that can be used for babies 8-30lbs.
All in ones (AIO): diapers that have the covers built in to the rest of the diaper. Closest to using disposable. Sometimes they are also one sized, some times not
Pre-folds (PF): old school, like diaper services use. Come in sizes
Pockets: Diaper with the cover built in, but the center comes out to make for faster drying, has a "pocket" for the insert to slip into.
Covers: what you put over diapers that don't have built in covers. Come in many materials- wool, PUL, fleece- as well as one size or sized.

Ok, that should cover the basics. Since entering the cloth diapering world 3.5 years ago I have learned that cloth diapering is alive and well. I am not in some weird fringe group. There are as many reasons people cloth diaper as there are people. For me, it started out purely economical. Yes, an individual cloth diaper seems spendy. I've probably spent about $500 to cloth diaper two children. But when you do the calculations against the standard disposable the amount you save per child is staggering. Going by the cheapest diapers I could find (Costco) and the absolute minimum diaper changes (although that isn't what I do) I haved saved over $2000 dollars so far. (and that is an EXTREMELY conservative estimate) you save evne more if you use the diapers for multiple children like I am doing, and thus my savings grow with each child. The money saved in cloth diapering has been such a blessing. But for us it has developed into other reasons as well. Cloth diapers are better for baby. Disposables have many chemicals in them, and many children are extremely sensitive to them. My second daughter gets a horrible diaper rash when put in disposables, as do many babies. Cloth diapers are so much better for the environment. Now, I'm not necessarily a hug-a-tree sort of person. I mean, I do hug the occasional tree, but it isn't the first principle by which I make decisions. But I do feel pretty strongly that if there is something in my life I can do to tread a bit lighter on the earth and be less self-focused in my daily life then I think I should do it. Cloth diapers are a way for families to greatly reduce the waste they put out. Anyone who has had children know they crazy amount of diapers they go through. Just try to get a mental image of that multiplies by thousands and millions. Think of how much less waste there would be if people used cloth diapers even just half the time. I also feel cloth is more comfy for baby. If you are skeptical of this, try on one of those disposable underwear things for bladder issues and compare how it feels to your regular underwear.

Now for some of my favorites and brands I highly recommend.

Motherease One Size. They come in various selections (Bleached, Unbleached, StayDri, Organic, and Bamboo) and work great in my opinion for 4months on. I dislike the bulk of a one size on a really little baby, but that is really personal preference as I know many friends who have used these from birth on. Motherease also makes great covers, but their diapers work well with any cover you choose. I have used these daily for 3.5 years and will continue to be able to do do for at least one more child, though I suspect another 2 or 3. They still look great and work very well.

Another brand I've come to love is Fuzzi Bunz. (if you are going to cloth diaper, you'll have to get used to cutsie names). Fuzzi Bunz is a pocket diaper that come in sizes XS-L and in 15 different colors. They are very easy to use, wash well, and dry fast. I also use these diapers at night in place of pul-ups for my toddler, and have used them without the inserts while we were potty learning to help contain accidents but not have the bulk of a pul-up. You can't go wrong with a few of these in your diaper stash.

Finally, I must recommend Poppy Pants. Poppy Pants are a sized diaper, like fuzzi bunz, but where the inserts snap in and out instead of sliding into a pocket. Also, the water proof part (the PUL liner) is hiden between two layers of fabric. So what you get on the outside of the diaper is soft, cute, boutique patterned fabric. Now, Poppy Pants are a boutique diaper, meaning they are higher end, higher priced, and part of their point is cuteness as well as function. You will not save as much money with these diapers, but you will still save lots over disposables. They are very trim and less bulky under clothes. The smaller sized are priced comparably to Fuzzi Bunz, it is only the larger sizes that are a bit more. Their XS sizes even come with little snap down sections to keep baby's umbilical cord clean and dry. These are the diapers I am getting for my next baby (no, that is not an announcement, just planning ahead). My Fuzzi Bunz are all size large, so these will be my smalls and medium. I'm really looking forward to it. They are really an outfit accessory unto themselves. I think next baby will be wearing a lot of t-shirts and Babylegs so I can always see these!

Other things you'll need or want with cloth diapering:

cloth wipes (makes sense really-easy to make yourself, or buy from anyone who sells cloth diapers)
A wet bag. Just a Pul lined bag to keep dirty diapers in either in your diaper bag or at home
A diaper pail or larger wet bag
A diaper sprayer- not something I currently have, but would be useful. Attaches to your toilet tank and allows you to spray off diaper contents without dunking or touching anything
Rice paper diaper liners- flushable diaper liners for when baby starts solid, so all solid waste can just be lifted up and off the diaper and flushed away.

I would of course be happy to answer any diaper questions, like how to care for them or anything like that. Most diaper websites that you buy from have "how to" sections that are easy to follow. There are a lot of options in that regard, and much of it is just finding out what works best for you. Three things to remember: No bleach! No fabric softner! And don't go overboard with detergent!

The thing with cloth diapering that I can't stress enough, is that there is something out there that will work for every preference and every budget. If you have no money to spend, go for Pre-Folds and Pro-rap covers. If you want it to be the most like using a disposable, go for a high end All-in-one. If you want to express your social conscience, go for Organic hemp made by WAHM (work-at-home-moms). Really, you can do this however. If you don't mind washing every day or every other day, get 12-18 diapers. If you want to only wash once or twice a week, get more. Really, I mean it, this is all extremely versatile and extremely easy. Like with any money expenditure, start out small and go from there. If you have any inclination at all to give this a shot, I totally encourage you to do so.

A is for Apron

2007-11-27T16:33:00.000-06:00

I love aprons. It is an addiction really. And I have no intention of quitting. I do however, need to learn to sew better or I may not be able to afford the kitchen to put the aprons in. If I could find an avatar for my blog with an apron on, that is so what would be there. In fact, I may just offer a prize if anyone can find one for me. I love the way aprons make me feel- beautiful, feminine, prepared for anything, slightly seductive, and the epitome of the Housewife. I really truly love that I am a housewife. (Note: I am not a stay at home mom). Last Christmas my husband got me this apron :

I have used it almost everyday this past year. It is made of oil cloth, and although doesn't lay as nice as a cotton apron, is water proof. I no longer come away from doing dishes soaked in water from bellybutton to inseem. It is fun, feminine, and immensely practical.

I now though have a new favorite apron. It is from this amazing company Heavenly Hostess. Yes, the price is a bit shocking. I mean, it is an apron and one shouldn't feel like you need an apron over your apron so you don't ruin it. But the quality and beauty of these aprons is unlike anything I've ever seen. Mine was an early Christmas present from my mom, along with the matching hair scarf. The slogan of Heavenly Hostess is "Serve with Grace" and in this apron that is exactly what I feel like I do.

The thing about an apron to me, is it makes me feel ready for the day. Ready to be everything that I need to be that day. Ready to always do the next thing. Ready to show my girls that being housewife, being home with them, is something that I love, something that I take seriously and something which brings me great joy. It just isn't the same on the days I never get out of my yoga pants and t-shirt. And believe me, I have plenty of those days. Which is probably why I love my aprons so much. I can see the difference in my day in how I approach it. If I get up, get dressed, go into the kitchen to start the coffee and breakfast that I prepped the night before, and put on an apron-any apron- I want to be productive. I want to clean the kitchen after breakfast instead of leaving it until after dinner. I want to do pre-school activities with my girls, and bake bread and read stories. It is just so different when I stumble out of bed, go downstairs still in my jammies (the afore mentioned yoga pants) and realize I have no idea what to make for breakfast, let alone what to do with the rest of my day. It takes me longer to make coffee and wake up, and it seems like most of my day is gone before I actually get going again.

You know, I might as well admit it- I want to be Donna Reed. Or maybe Amish. Nah, Donna has better aprons.

Because it bears repeating

2007-11-26T21:20:00.000-06:00

I have posted these G.K. Chesterton quotes before, but they are too good not to bump up a bit. They need no commentary.

"Women were not kept at home in order to keep them narrow; on the contrary, they were kept at home in order to keep them broad. The world outside the home was one mass of narrowness, a maze of cramped paths, a madhouse of monomaniacs. It was only by partly limiting and protecting the woman that she was enabled to play at five or six professions and so come almost as near to God as the child when he plays at a hundred trades."

"When domesticity, for instance, is called drudgery, all the difficulty arises from a double meaning in the word. If drudgery only means dreadfully hard work, I admit the woman drudges in the home, as a man might drudge at the Cathedral of Amiens or drudge behind a gun at Trafalgar. But if it means that the hard work is more heavy because it is trifling, colorless and of small import to the soul, then as I say, I give [the word]up; I do not know what the words mean. To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labors and holidays; to be Whiteley within a certain area, providing toys, boots, sheets, cakes and books, to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness."

In Memory

2007-10-13T11:22:00.000-05:00

Noa Joelle 7/10/2003
~rest, Jehova is God

Chaim Hillel 3/20/2007
~life, praise God

Itiel Dzoe 5/28/2007
~God is with Me, life

October 15 is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and although I'm not usually one for "awareness" issues, this is one I really feel is worth bringing up.

The most important thing I think I have to say on the subject is that when a woman miscarries a pregnacy it is easy to think of it in very detached terms. Phrases such as "the miscarriage", "barley pregnant", "the embryo"and "most women wouldn't have known they were pregnant" only serve to mask what really happened. The death of a child. Yes, that child wasn't fully formed. Yes, there was no way to know gender. True, it is most likely that there was something fundamentally wrong that kept the baby from surviving. But it was still a life lost. Treating it as simply a heavy and painful period does no one any favors. Either life begins at conception or it doesn't. And we either value that life or we don't. And in my mind the case is extremely clear cut- life begins at conception and I love my children dearly, no matter how long they live.

Which is why we have named the children that we lost. Most people will never know the names besides our family, and not even all of them. But I think it is important all the same. It acknowledges the life, which I believe honors God. And it gives us a way to talk about our children in a more personal way than "1st miscarriage...2nd misscarriage...." and so forth. We will see these children again. And for that we rest for we know that Jehova is God. We Praise God for the life which was created, and we know that our children are with God-that it was He who gave them life. The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away, Blessed be the name of the Lord.

More Veggie Wisdom

2007-04-04T15:34:00.000-05:00

From the Ballad of Little Joe

Sherrif Bob: "If God loves you so much, why do bad things keep happening to you?"

Little Joe Larry: "I don't know. But I will. When its time."

"Just a thought"

2007-04-04T14:43:00.000-05:00

No, I'm not saying I have a thought. Rather I'm quoting others. You know, people who make a commentary on your life choices by saying, "Have you ever considered (....) You know, just a thought" in a way that is just a bit too casual sounding. Generally the impression which is given is, "I'm trying to be polite but I really think you need to do it this way and I'm sure if you haven't thought of this before because if you had I'm certain your sense of logic would prevail and this is how you would do it."

Where I hear this happening most is with family size and spacing. I will say, I have a lot of patience for non-Christians and new Christians who have a diminished view of children. People who are/have been heavily under the influence of the secular view that children are fine, maybe even great, in small numbers and at the exact time you decide that they enter; but in large numbers or at the wrong time it is your prerogative to do whatever you feel necessary to get things back on schedule. Unfortunately though I think many solid, mature Christians have bought into this lie as well. Not that we're not solidly against abortion and maybe even chemical birth control (although that is more rare) but rather this hesitation to just relax and realize that plans are OK to make but ultimately that they are needed to be surrendered to God and He may have different plans. I think we too often look to outside circumstances like health, money, current place in life and give these things the greatest weight in our "family planning". I think we're also often afraid to do any different, and even a little afraid of people who have decided to take a different path. I'll be blunt- to hear a Christian sister say that they believe children are a blessing and that they want as many as God will send them and they trust Him to provide for all blessings sent their way is rather intimidating. My mind goes to the years I was (now regrettably) on birth control, the months more recently where I've wasted time worrying how I was going to physically keep up with our demands. But other areas of faith aren't as scary. My safety, the safety of my family, a roof over our heads, food on the table, money for the doctors- these are all things I'm good at trusting God for. And areas I've seen many Christians good at trusting God for. Why are so many of us hung up on the baby issue?

I'm certainly not saying that everyone needs 10 children, or to be pregnant as soon as they get married and stay that way until menopause. But we definitely need to have a Biblical understanding of children, to make our choices based on a solid Biblical world view, and to not think that other families who are doing things outside of the cultural norm have taken all leave of there senses.

I fear I'm not making much sense here. And I know that at the moment I am overly sensitive to this topic. However, I'm not certain that an over sensitivity to the joy of children is such a bad thing. I'm deeply concerned that Christendom is becoming simply anti-abortion, not pro-life. When I hear people who have been Christians longer than I have been alive dismiss views on the goodness of babies as "too catholic" or look like they are are so shocked they might faint when told that someone prayed they might not have a child with perfect health, or scoff at the idea of adoption being something that as many people as possibly can should do....well lets just say it concerns me as to the state of the church. My hope is that my exposure to these attitudes is simply the exception rather than the rule, but I'm rather pessimistic as to that being the case.

What I don't want to do is tell people what they need to be doing with their lives as if I had everything figured out. After all, that is what I start out this post rallying against. I don't want though the Bride of Christ to be infected with something which isn't of Christ. And I think I can state pretty confidently that the secular view of children, marriage, and family is not of Christ. So, perhaps that is my point in all of this. That although looking to what our current life situation is can be a good thing when considering things like marriage and babies, that it can't be all that we look at. God has given us the gift of making choices for our lives and has given us (as is so often pointed out) the opportunity to be good stewards of the things in our life. We might need to re-examine the filters through which we make our choices. Who knows? We could end up at the same spot as the person who was giving us unsolicited advice on our family size wants us. But no matter where we end up we must know that we got there by the leading of God, not because we bowed to our fears and outside pressures to conform to what was expected of us by a society that has largely come to hate children and makes choices based largely out of selfishness and very little else.

I hope all of this made sense. I hope what all of it says to everyone else (as it reads in my head) is that God does have opinions about children and that His heart needs to be our heart. And that isn't going to produce the exact same family for each person. I want the church to love children. I want Christians to rejoice when they see a family open to more children in their home, whether by birth or adoption, even if it is a different path than what they took. I want Christians to realize when they have had unbiblical attitudes about children and to repent of that even if it is painful or uncomfortable. Did it say that? Is anyone still even reading this crazy, rambling post? If so, thank you for bearing with my wednesday afternoon, it is dark and gloomy outside and I fear maybe in, and I'm putting my thoughts out there for everyone else to read post. Are my observations more universal? Is the church becoming less and less in love with life and the gift of children?

Quote well worth thinking about

2007-03-16T21:38:00.000-05:00

"If you want to hear the Lord say 'Well Done' then you have to do what He asks"

~Veggie Tales "Gideon: Tuba Warrior"

Reflections on a TV ridden life....

2007-03-14T11:57:00.000-05:00

Our time of no TV came to an end. And unfortunately the cause of bringing the TV back also brought the TV back in full force. It is once again this constant presence in our lives. One that I am equally upset by and yet equally thankful for.

You see, I am sick. Not corndog sick like in my last post, but having a Crohns flare up. So we are rather in process around here. In process of weaning the baby so I can take medication. In process of figuring out what my food triggers currently are. In process of deciding which medications to take and how long to give them before trying something. In process of surviving day to day existence.

So now we have a TV ridden life once again. Many of the behavior issues I had seen disapeer are back. And so many of my days seem to go by without one intelligent thought making it's way onto my radar.

It isn't that I hate TV. I actually like it a fair bit. I have my guilty pleasures (Grey's Anatomy) and my favorites (Gilmore Girls) and the shows that I can watch in syndication forever and never grow tired of (Frasier). And there is great childrens programing as well. Veggies Tales of course, Incredibles absolutely, and Between the Lions even. But it is this constant barage of entertainment everywhere that I dislike. I really wonder how much it has changed us as a society to have so much of our lives centered around the entertainment industry. I mean, think about, there are so many careers that are connected with keeping us entertained. Not fed, not healthy, not proctected, not educated, not saved nor godly, but forever and always entertained. There are hundreds and hundreds of TV channels and all the actors, producers, writers, execs, lawyers, etc that go along with them. Then there are all the commericials that are produced to go on these channels and all the personel that go along with them. Then we have movies and the music industry , not to mention professional sports, and everyone it takes to keep them going. And all of the millions and millions of dollars the public spends that perpetuate these industries. It is rather overwhelming when one stops to consider all of it.

These are the thoughts that keep popping up in my head. Where am I headed personally in my life in Christ? Where are we headed as a family? Where is the church, the body of Christ, going? Where are we headed as a society? And how does entertainment fit into all of it?

I still intend to post thoughts on parenting that I elluded to months ago. As well as recipes. I just can't seem to make blogging a priority though and I'm not going to force the issue. I'm honored that anyone is still reading here after how inconsistent I've been and thank you for your time.

Here's to more blogging soon! And if not soon, well, at least eventually.

I'm Sick....

2007-01-27T11:32:00.000-06:00

A conversation heard around these parts today...

me: "I feel like death warmed over. No, not warmed over. Just barely heated in the microwave."

my husband: "That sounds unpleasant."

me: "What? Death heated in the microwave?"

my husband: "I think they call that corn dogs."

Lessons from no tv

2007-01-22T15:44:00.000-06:00

Well, it has been a week since we turned off our TV. Or more accurately, since we put it in the closet. It hasn't been a week completely without TV however, don't let me mislead you. The littlest one still get a few minutes while I put the eldest down for a nap, there was Grey's Anatomy on Thursday while I folded laundry in my room, there will be a mama daughter cuddle time of Gilmore Girls tomorrow. But over all, it has been a week blessedly free of TV. What have I found? Contrary to my expectations, I have found that I love it. The only reason I wanted to do this was because we've needed the extra TV time in the past few months as I was getting back on my feet. A very good use of TV in my estimation and was extremely thankful not only for it, but for all of the people who were willing to watch The Incredibles more times than I can count. But I knew that it would be hard to simply scale back the video viewing. That once it got turned on in the day it would be hard to turn it off since we were all so used to its constant presence. I expected that this was going to be really really hard. I expected temper tantrums. I expected a messy house and take out dinners as I figured out how to do life with out my helper the TV. Instead there are less tantrums. A lot less. The house, though not perfect, isn't bad. And let's be honest, it has never been perfect. As for dinner, I've cooked more this past week than I have in ages. The girls love being in the kitchen with me and although everything takes longer, what am I rushing to go do anyways?

And you know what else? My daughter loves to read. I had no idea. I mean really, really, really loves to read. She wants me to read to her, she wants to "read" to me, she sits and reads by herself, she reads to her sister. It blows me away.

Yes, she still asks for Veggies and Incredibles. Multiple times a day. And she was fascinated by the TV playing at the lunch place we went to yesterday. It isn't like her love of television has disappeared. And that's OK by me. I rather like it myself. The key for us right now though is finding the right amount. The amount where we can enjoy the entertainment, but not where it dominates us. As Larry Boy says, "You can't be the person God wants you to be if all you ever think about is watching TV" (or fill in your distraction of choice).

At this point I'm thinking we may bring the TV back for Easter. Maybe not. The capability to watch it is still here, just not in the main room of our house. Maybe it never needs to be in the main room of our house again. Or at least not as long as Mama is healthy and well. Like I said, I have nothing against TV, but I'm loving the peace without it far too much to rush back to its all consuming presence.

You know you need more sleep when...

2007-01-12T11:29:00.000-06:00

You are nursing the baby and look at your husband and in all seriousness ask, "Where's the baby?".

And now for something new

2007-01-10T17:44:00.000-06:00

There is a new feature here at Love, Honor, and Obey. I am going to be posting a recipe once a week or so. These are mostly Tiffany adaptions, and I'll be sure to let you know where the original came from.

Hope you enjoy!

To kick things off, my absolute favorite recipe to make when having people over. Most of it can be done ahead of time, which is great for getting things picked up before company arrives.

Easy Chicken Wellington, as adapted from my mother in law.

ingredients:

1 pkg frozen pastry shells
3 whole chicken breasts- split, skinned, and boned
3 T butter

Pastry shells have to thaw in order to use them, remember to do this inadvance. Chicken breasts, after being prepared, can be marinated for tenderness. Just stick them in a ziploc in the fridge with a little white wine, a sqeeze of lemon juice, and let them sit for a few hours. When taking them out beat them nice and tender with something hard. :)

When ready to cook, saute them in the 3T butter until brown, then add either 2T of the marinade or 2T of white wine or cooking sherry and cook until it evaporated. Make sure they are fully cooked, they won't be in the oven long enough to cook through.

Filling ingredients:

1/2lb chopped mushrooms (approx)
3 chopped scallions
6 strips of bacon

Saute mushrooms and scallions in butter, cook bacon, then stir together and set aside.

All of this until here can be done ahead of time, I usually do it in the morning between breakfast and lunch.

Assembly:
Roll out pastry shells (one for each chicken), place 2T filling on each shell, and set 1 chicken breast on top, enclose in pastry. Place folded side down on cookie sheet. A nice touch is to take extra pastry and small cookie cutters and make a decoration to go on top. Sometimes I do all the same, somehing for the season. Or I have done shapes I think the individuals will like. I have also done initials. This is very handy if you have a picky eater who doesn't like something in the filling.

Bake the chicken at 425, for 5-10 minutes, untill pastry is all puffed up and golden.

Easy Wellington Sauce

1 envelope hollandaise sauce mix
3/4 C milk
1T white wine or sherry
2T swiss cheese (or a little more, I like to go crazy with cheese)

Mix sauce mix with wine and milk, cook and stir until smooth. Add cheese and stir until completely melted and smooth.

And there you have it!! It is really easy, and so so good. You can play around with the filling ingredients, celery is rather good. I've also done wellington bites that you can then dip in the sauce. It is actually really yummy to make up extra bites while making up the regular ones for dinner, double the sauce recipe and then have the bites for lunch during the rest of the week.

Happy Eating!

Parenting....some thoughts

2007-01-10T10:45:00.000-06:00

I've recently realized something about myself. I'm someone who is influenced easily. When I read something someone writes it makes sense to me. Even if I didn't hold that position prior to reading it. If I see someone acting a certain way and it is working for them, it seems like a good idea. Now, thankfully although I'm intellectually influenced this way, I'm not particularly gunhoe about running off and emulating whatever I just saw. And I have a husband who is wonderfully rational, logical, and adept at dealing with a wife who is not.

One area though I have found that I really have let myself be very influenced in action by others is in my parenting. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Afterall, there are pleanty of people who are doing a great job raising their children, and it is wisdom to learn from the wise who have gone before you. But only if you are actually evaluating what is being done, not if you are just going "that looks good, I'll do that." For there are many good parenting strategies out there, and there are many bad ones, and there are even more which are good but simply not for every family.

You see, the place where we lived when I first got pregnant with my first child most people did the child rearing thing very similar. And there were really great results. It was immensely encouraging to sit and talk with people who had raised a large family who now served Christ and where raising God fearing children of their own. It wasn't like reading a book of someone we had never meant and wondering what their children were like, we had the results right before us. And a rather larger sample pool at that.

Then we moved. 2500 miles in fact. And we had another baby. And we changed some of what we had intended going in. Not bad changes I don't think, just changes. But what we didn't do was really evaluate how/why we were changing. It was a much more fly by the seat of our pants sort of change. More of a "when in Rome" sort of change.

So now, we're back looking at what we do and why. We know what our end goals are, we know what our underlying premise is. It is the nitty gritty of how that we are looking at. One thing that I am sure of, is that the nitty gritty how can be extreamly different from family to family. And further more, differences can be a good thing. God doesn't deal with all of His children in exactly the same way, so why should all families deal with theirs exactly the same? Or even with all the children in one family exactly the same? We are all unique, wonderfully and fearfully made children of our King and I think our parenting techniques can and should reflect this.

I'm not sure where this is going to leave us. We may go back to doing things like we originally intended. We may end up right where we are now. Or we might be lead into a different place entirely. My desire and prayer though is that we will be influenced by God and His Wisdom and desire for our family alone. There is a good chance that where ever we end up it isn't going to look like our friends from up north, or our ones from down south. Which I know can be hard. It is so much easier to be in a group where you all do things in the same way. But, just because we do it differently (if that does indeed end up being the case) it certainly won't be an indictment of those we know, or of us either. Living out our convictions for our individual family without trying to convince others of our righteness though can be hard. Or feeling the need to defend ourselves for that matter.

So, these are the thoughts that are occupying my mind as of late. It is an amazing thing we are entrusted with when raising children. These little eternal souls given into our hands for a season. May we all treat it with the gravity and joy which it is due, and may God lead us all into wisdom and understanding.

Coming out of hiding....

2006-12-22T20:49:00.000-06:00

To the two of you still checking to see if someday I might actually post again, here is your reward. Not an actual post from me, but some links to other posts which are quite excellent. I intend to post soon, probably after the first of the year, so come back soon. Thanks for hanging in there!

Please check out We, Like David, Are Real. Our Love Is Not for a quick, but thought provoking read. Josh Gibbs and my husband went to high school together. Good guy. Good writer. Good thoughts.

Check out Leigh Ann's blog and her posts For What It's Worth, We're Happier, No We're Happier, Curse Be On You If You Stay, and Moral Superiority. Fantastic thoughts on the nature of the marriage relationship explained in a straight forward and humble manner. Leigh Ann is my most recent addition to blog lines. You should all add her to yours as well.

And speaking of adding people to your bloglines- add Davis Wilson Read his postHoliday's and Heroism to hear some great thoughts about thinking discretely. A useful concept.

And finally check out my husband's post here for his thoughts on the outworkings of Ephesians 5. As well as a rather lively discussion. Got me a good one, I did. I love that man.

That's my grand contribution to the blogsphere today. But why write a plethora of words when others have already said what needs saying?

Have a wonderful, blessed, and most importantly, Christ filled Christmas

No Ordinary Home: Chapter 6

2006-10-02T09:19:00.000-05:00

For those of you who are slightly confused by the title, this week is my week to host the discussion of the book No Ordinary Home: The Uncommon Art of Christ-centered Homemaking by Carol Brazo. The read go here for Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. You don't need to have read the book to jump in on the discussion, so please join us.

For those of you coming over from Dawn's blog, Welcome! I loved Dawn's original idea of sharing pictures of our livingrooms for this discussion. So, come in, sit down, and enjoy your discussion.

Coffee is in the kitchen, please help yourself....

So, this week we're talking about New Decor. A home that is not only beautiful to the eyes, but that is refreshing to the spirit. A home that doesn't just reflect your personality, but a home that radiates Christ. And mores specifically, Carol talks about a home that has memorials to what Christ has done in our lives, like the Iraelites would do, altars to the glory of our God that continually remind us of His work in our lives. This quote is what it is all about this chapter for me:

"Decorating fads will come and go. The ways of God are changeless. Color combinations, furniture arrangements, floral displays are temporary. Use them. Enjoy them. Be blessed by them. But in using them, in working with the walls of your home, never forget that a home is founded on the spirit of the people who inhabit the building. If the Spirit of God lives in the folks at your house, make sure that is reflected on the walls and gates of your home. Bring the holy home. Let it be evident in every corner of your dwelling."

The specific application of this to my home is where I get a bit more confused. I love what she used with the keys. Antique keys are beautiful and would be captivating in any home. But the keys aren't us. And the point of this isn't simply to use her ideas that worked for her family in her home and steal them and try to make them fit into my family and my home. This is something I struggle with in many areas- I see something that works really well for one person and think it will work the same way for me. Now, the principle behind the act is a good one, but I still need to take it and make it my own. For example, I know families who have times of singing together, praising God. I love that! But, my girls don't sing yet (hopefully some day) and my husband can't carry a tune in a bucket. So, gathering after dinner around the piano to sing hymns won't work for us.

So, all that to say, I don't know what sort of memorial that might speak to our family. And to complicate matter further, I don't even know what events I would put them up for. There are a flood of things that I have learned this past year, past 5 years, past 10 years- but what ones will I end up finding the most important to put up? I don't know yet.

I thought though I'd share some of these personal items that I have done this with over the years. Some speak of God in an obvious way, some don't. But all make me remember when I see them, which is what I want for memorials to him in my home.

The first is a purple piece of ceramic. Once, it was a circle. Now that circle is in three pieces shared between two of my childhood friends. We broke it when we were 10 to keep forever to remember what good friends we were then, and wanted to always be no matter what. Eight years later those were two of the girls who stood up with me on my wedding day. I don't speak to them as much as I would like to now, but I remember the loved we shared and all we went through together.

The second is a blue polymer clay cross with "July 23, 1997 1:11am" written on it. It was made for me by a friend at church camp on July 24, 1997 after I became a Christian the day before. I'll never forget that day.

The third is a necklace- called a prayer box. I've never used it to write prayers and keep them in there like it is intended. But it came with an angel lapel pin which I pinned on the suit of my Beloved Papa before they closed his casket. To the best of my knowledge, that will be the last time I will ever see him. It has been six years and the pain is still very raw. I can't see the screen through my tears even now.

Now that I know that I know how to have memorials in my life it is time for me (and you) to answer the discussion questions.

1. What lessons has God taught me this year? My spouse? My children?

2. What lessons do I want to have impressed and pictures in the hearts of my children?

3. What symbols do I like? How could God use them to help me reflect His working in our lives?

4. Why am I doing this?

Deuteronomy 6

1"Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the rules that the LORD your God commanded me to teach you, that you may do them in the land to which you are going over, to possess it, 2that you may fear the LORD your God, you and your son and your son's son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be long. 3Hear therefore, O Israel, and be careful to do them, that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly, as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey.

4"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

10"And when the LORD your God brings you into the land that he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give you--with great and good cities that you did not build, 11and houses full of all good things that you did not fill, and cisterns that you did not dig, and vineyards and olive trees that you did not plant--and when you eat and are full, 12then take care lest you forget the LORD, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. 13It is the LORD your God you shall fear. Him you shall serve and by his name you shall swear. 14You shall not go after other gods, the gods of the peoples who are around you, 15for the LORD your God in your midst is a jealous God, lest the anger of the LORD your God be kindled against you, and he destroy you from off the face of the earth.

16"You shall not put the LORD your God to the test, as you tested him at Massah. 17You shall diligently keep the commandments of the LORD your God, and his testimonies and his statutes, which he has commanded you. 18And you shall do what is right and good in the sight of the LORD, that it may go well with you, and that you may go in and take possession of the good land that the LORD swore to give to your fathers 19by thrusting out all your enemies from before you, as the LORD has promised.

20"When your son asks you in time to come, 'What is the meaning of the testimonies and the statutes and the rules that the LORD our God has commanded you?' 21then you shall say to your son, 'We were Pharaoh's slaves in Egypt. And the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. 22And the LORD showed signs and wonders, great and grievous, against Egypt and against Pharaoh and all his household, before our eyes. 23And he brought us out from there, that he might bring us in and give us the land that he swore to give to our fathers. 24And the LORD commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as we are this day. 25And it will be righteousness for us, if we are careful to do all this commandment before the LORD our God, as he has commanded us.'

Thanks for coming by!

Don’t think I’m uncool just because I’ve noticed this

2006-09-08T15:20:00.000-05:00

Totally like whatever, you know?
By Taylor Mali

In case you hadn't noticed,
it has somehow become uncool
to sound like you know what you're talking about?
Or believe strongly in what you're saying?
Invisible question marks and parenthetical (you know?)'s
have been attaching themselves to the ends of our sentences?
Even when those sentences aren't, like, questions? You know?

Declarative sentences - so-called
because they used to, like, DECLARE things to be true
as opposed to other things which were, like, not -
have been infected by a totally hip
and tragically cool interrogative tone? You know?
Like, donÂt think I'm uncool just because I've noticed this;
this is just like the word on the street, you know?
It's like what I've heard?
I have nothing personally invested in my own opinions, okay?
I'm just inviting you to join me in my uncertainty?

What has happened to our conviction?
Where are the limbs out on which we once walked?
Have they been, like, chopped down
with the rest of the rain forest?
Or do we have, like, nothing to say?
Has society become so, like, totally . . .
I mean absolutely . . . You know?
That we've just gotten to the point where it's just, like . . .
whatever!

And so actually our disarticulation . . . ness
is just a clever sort of . . . thing
to disguise the fact that we've become
the most aggressively inarticulate generation
to come along since . . .
you know, a long, long time ago!

I entreat you, I implore you, I exhort you,
I challenge you: To speak with conviction.
To say what you believe in a manner that bespeaks
the determination with which you believe it.
Because contrary to the wisdom of the bumper sticker,
it is not enough these days to simply QUESTION AUTHORITY.
You have to speak with it, too.

Mali is a poet that as near as I can tell from his site, makes no claims of being a Christian. He desires to hear truth, he implores our generation to proclaim, not in a wishy-washy this is what works for me sort of way, but to speak it boldly. How many times have I back down from saying something because I thought a non-Chrispossiblydn't possibily want to hear truth? How many times have I couched my telling of truth behind invisible parentheticals?

Check out his stuff if you have an inclination towards poetry. What I had a chance to read of it is good. Really good.

HT to Pastor Joel of Basilica Community. Well, more than a hat tip really as the whole post is basically stolen from him.....just too good to not have up multiple places, so thanks joel.

Locks of Love

2006-09-04T16:37:00.000-05:00

In a post that has been a long time coming.... back in July I cut my hair. Actually I cut a lot of hairs. See for yourself.

Before

After

I post this not to get comments about how cute a do it is (because to be honest, I know it is cute...all thanks to Brandi over at Soak Salon. All I did was tell her I wanted it all off and no bangs, she did the rest.) But rather to bring attention to Locks of Love Locks of Love is a non-profit organization that provides custom hair pieces to financially disadvantaged children 18 years and younger who suffer from any type of long term medical hair loss. Most of the children helped by Locks of Love have lost their hair due to a condition calledAlopecia Areata. So basically, they totally rock and am I very happy to be able to help them in this way. My husband did this awhile back too, maybe I'll get some pictures of him loaded on the computer soon. He had the total "Jesus" look going for him.

So, if you are thinking about cutting your hair- do it! Just wait until you can get at least a 10 inch pony tail to send in. You see, most of the children Locks of Love helps are little girls, and little girls love long hair. The process that makes the prosthetics uses 2in of the total length, so the donated pony tail needs to be at least 10 inches in order to get enough length. And it takes 6-10 donated pony tails for each hair piece. So, as you can imagine, they probably aren't suffering from too much hair being donated and not enough people to give it to.

Alright, back to your regularly scheduled blogging now. Of course, around these parts that has been next to none. I hope to amend that very soon, so keep checking back. And in the mean time check out Molly and Dawn for lots of great stuff.

Oh, and sorry the top pics are side ways, I'll fix that some time soon.....

Mopping the Floor

2006-08-23T15:33:00.000-05:00

The wonderful gals over at Choosing Home have begun writing about a new topic each week, and asking their readers to join in. This week's topic is Children and Chores. Already there are some great articles over there that are worth checking out. These women are really something, and I am always blessed when I take the time to consider what God might be teaching me through them.

I've been pondering having my eldest girl, 26 mo., help around the house more for a few months now. I occasionally have her help me unload the dishwasher or get something for her baby sister, but generally that is to just keep her busy rather than to teach her anything or to really accomplish anything. The fact of the matter is though, it is beyond time to be more active in teaching her. I've been very complacent in the past, preferring to just let her do her own thing and running crowd control so I can do my own thing. This isn't good on so many levels. Not the least of which, she has decided her own thing is watching Veggie Tales, Nemo, Muppets, and Spider Man. I'm not against TV, but TV all day never did anyone any good. My mom reminds me I watched a lot of TV when I was her age but as soon as I learned to read couldn't care less about it, and that is well and good. But my mom had it a lot harder than I do and honestly I'm really wasting this gift of being able to stay home with my girls if all we ever do is watch TV. I'm not going to feel guilty over the occasional PJ day when we're sick with pre-packaged food and all day viewing, but it shouldn't be the norm.

Really, though, it isn't about the inherent benefits or evils of watching TV. It is about me and my Godliness. Or lack there of as of late. Let me lay it all out there for you. I want life to be easy. I want Motherhood to be easy. I want Christianity to be easy. And not easy as in "my yoke is easy and my burden is light" but easy as in a "get to have it my own spoiled, selfish way" sort of easy. I don't know when I came to the conclusion that life was somehow all about me and my pleasure and that I was somehow entitled to all the leisure time (read TV, computer, sleep) that I wanted, but as I am sure most of you know, that isn't how the life of a follower of Christ nor of a mother is supposed to be. It isn't about me. It isn't all about my children either. It is about my God. And in seeking after Him more diligently as of late He has truly shown me how sorely lacking I am.
The good news about all of this though is that none of it is fixed by my power or strength. I have been given that which I need for Godliness. This is good news indeed.

But what does all of this have to do with mopping floors? Am I really on topic here? Bear with me, I promise I am getting to it. In letting this self centeredness take root in my heart, I have also let it be planted in my daughters as well. Now, two year olds really don't need much encouragement to be self centered. They need parents who are willing to lay down their own life to fight against this wrong thinking. I can't expect my daughter to learn how to serve others if I am not modeling that myself. I can't expect her to know how to work hard if Mama doesn't show her. I can't expect her to obey me if I don't first obey God.

So that's where the mopping the floors comes in. The floors needed mopping. My daughter needed to not be in front of a video while I did it. So we mopped together, It was slightly unorthodox, but it got the job done. What's more, she had so much fun doing it. And I got to talk to her about how good it is to serve, and she got to experience it first hand.

Yesterday, when most of this first hit home, I went to my sweet first born angel, and explained to her that Mama had been being selfish lately and had been putting my own needs before those of the family. She smiled sweetly, said "ya" in her not really talking yet way, and then when I asked for her to forgive me she gave me a great big hug and kiss. It was one of the most perfect moments of my life.

So we didn't just mop floors yesterday, we were cleaning up a lot of things. Namely past sins and bad attitudes. I'm anticipating more cleaning to come- both in my heart and my daughters- as I die to myself and work alongside her to instruct her in the ways of God.

Neon signs

2006-07-11T12:00:00.000-05:00

When you are right, or think you are, are you willing to give up your insistence on being right to be humble?
~

Jim Wilson

Martin Luther is at it again...

2006-07-10T14:45:00.000-05:00

“The only thing I contribute to the salvation process is the sin that I must have forgiven.”

Thanks to Dawn for this.

Good Read

2006-07-05T12:04:00.000-05:00

Check out this post over at Mommy Life written by the amazing Barbara Curtis: wife, writter, mother of 12, and fellow servant of Christ. Good stuff. Add her to your bloglines, you won't be dissapointed.

Obeying the Government

2006-07-03T15:03:00.000-05:00

Romans 13:1-7
1Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. 2Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. 3For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, 4for he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer. 5Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath but also for the sake of conscience. 6For the same reason you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. 7Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.

Alright, I am posting a ponderance, something that I just don't have a conclusion on, and something I'd really like to figure out. I think it is established Christian consensus that the Bible teaches we are to obey those placed in authority over us. That in doing so ultimately it is God who we are obeying, and it does not matter if the authority over us recognizes this fact or not. It also is rather clear that if the authority over us commands us to do something that God forbids or forbids that which God commands then we are to obey God's law first. So in relation to the Christian and his government we obey the laws- pay our taxes, go the speed limit, get our driver's license, and don't park in the handicap space. These are laws that have no morality in and of themselves- they are simply civil laws that order society. If the government didn't require that we get a license to drive we would be under no command from God to do so, but the government has decreed this and so we do it and in doing so obey God as well.

There are laws which do deal with morality- do not steal, do not murder. Even if the government didn't have laws prohibiting this, we would still be under commands from God to neither steal nor murder.

And there are still other moral laws which are only in God's word. The government does not have a law against fornication or adultery, but God does and we are to obey His law.

But what about the things which aren't in God's law, which the government has a law pertaining to, and are moral issues? What do we do with those? There are many things that we as Christians develop strong convictions about. They are subjects which we do feel a great sense of calling about and place it as a moral matter. Things which come to mind are parenting practices, medical practices, and schooling practices. What do we do when the government has laws which we require something that we truly believe is wrong but that God's law is silent about? For example- what if the government says all babies must be born in a hospital, given certain medications, and have certain procedures performed on them. No exceptions, no loop holes, you must do it. Or that no one is allowed to school formally at home? Or your family must follow a specific diet which meets the government RDA for all items? What do we as Christians do with this? We aren't required to have babies at home or at hospitals by God, but we may feel very strongly that this isn't something the government should be regulating. We aren't required by God to eat meat or not to eat meat- but what is the government says we are? We aren't required by God to seek medical treatment for illnesses, but what if the government says we are? At what point do the realities of these beliefs and the morality involved in them become strong enough that it is acceptable to disobey the government on?

Honestly, I'm not sure I like the implications of this line of thinking...I am a big believer in the right of individual families to make decisions for themselves about how they parent, how they eat, how they live. But we're not given the right to all of that by God. Yes, we are to worship Him and Him alone and we are to do that and proclaim His word whether or not the government says it is ok. But these other issues of how we live life are left up to where we are lead personally by God and where the spirit convicts us. One family may be lead very definitely into homeschooling, while another family is not, just in the same way one family may be lead to start a church while another is not. But does that first family have the blessing of God's word to disobey the government if the government forbids homeschooling? I honestly don't know.

We recently had the opportunity to come up against personal convictions clashing with government law. Our second daughter was born in February and there are state laws that mandate certain medications be given at the time of birth. Right now there are exception clauses which we qualify for and used to get out of the majority of these medications, but one medication has no legal exemption for it and those parents who refuse it are reported to CPS. I never could find out from anyone what happened after the parents are reported, but they are reported because they are breaking a law. Now, I personally believe the medication to be harmful (and have done the research to back up this opinion) and because I believe it to be harmful don't think I can in good conscience subject my children to it. To me it seems to do so would be grievously wrong- to knowingly subject my baby whom God has entrusted me with to a procedure that I think the evidence says is dangerous makes me sick to my stomach. How can I do that and stand before my creator and say that I cared for His blessing in the way that I ought? BUT on the other hand....(and here is where I get all jumbled) God requires of me my obedience to the governing authorities and different sources have differing views on the harm of this medication, so why do I decide to go with one source over the other and in doing so disobey the government that I have been told to obey? Ugh. I don't know how this is suppose to work out. I really really don't. I think it is wrong for the government to make laws saying how a family should parent, medicate, educate, etc. But God doesn't say that it is wrong for the government to make such laws. (or at least I'm not aware that He does- if He does, please pass the info along as this would make things more cut and dry) And in our government we do have theoretical ways to pursue change in governmental laws. Now, I don't think with the way things currently work with lobbyist and big money pushing their own agenda that the average family has much chance of enacting change in the law, but does that change the way we are to act in the matter? Once again, I don't know.

I do know that my convictions to homeschool, not vaccinate, discipline, etc. aren't specifics mandated by God for all of His Church. But I do believe that the Lord provides us with wisdom for our particular family when we fear and seek him and it is wisdom and goes beyond theology, but into all areas of our life. So, is this leading of God's wisdom on the same footing as such explicit commands from God to worship Him, to preach His name, to make disciples, to not murder, to not steal, etc.? I really really don't know. I would however love to hear from anyone else on this matter, any applicable Bible passages or teaching on the matter, and how your families personally deal with this.

When there are many words.....

2006-06-26T16:07:00.000-05:00

Ok, I realized after posting the link to Dawn and saying that I could have done that instead of making my previous post that further explanation was probably needed.

Here's the deal, when it comes to blog posts I prefer to talk about things in their basic form, leaving out all of the exception clauses, what ifs, bunny trails, etc. So I write my post, stating what is a general working theory of mine in rather black and white terms. I'm usually quite happy with my results. Until later that is. Then I realize that I probably didn't' give enough information to make people who don't know me realize that I am not trying to tell every Christian household what they need to do. But I don't like adding in the caveats every other sentence or apologizing that I boldly think my opinions are right. (Like I said before, that is the basic definition of an opinion).

So, when I read the article at Dawn's blog I thought, "yes, this is it. The things to keep in mind when living life, when educating, when making evaluations. This is good stuff. This is how I desire to always view my ideas, and instead hold the pursuit of God up as the first and best thing which there is." So I posted the link. Then I realized I left y'all out of my thought process and were probably a little confused. Sigh.

I console myself with the though that this is probably not the first time I've written something confusing and probably won't be the last and as such my dear reader are probably used to it by now. You may even expect it.

So know, that when it comes to posts I truly think it is best to say things simply and without all the addendums which I made for my education thoughts. When you are writing things down for your own edification and for a larger group to think about and discuss, I really do believe it works better to talk about the big universal picture first, and then when you are talking on a one on one level, address whatever individual situation you are in. Ok, it is time for me to be quiet now and stop worrying that I am going to be misunderstood. If I write something that seems wrong or offensive or anything else, make a comment and we can discuss the caveats there because it is too tiring to try and cover them all in any individual post. I will go batty. Some might say it will be a short trip.

One should always read other blogs first

2006-06-26T11:53:00.001-05:00

Ok, I could have saved myself a fair bit of time if I had just read Dawn's blog first today. She talks about some great stuff (a summary of another article she links too). Basically it points to things to consider in homeschooling, and although I am not homeschooling yet I think they are very applicable to all ways of life that we hold and philosophies that we develop. So I could have just linked there and then said "yeah. I agree with all of that" and then there probably woulnd't have been need for me to list my exceptions to the rule because you would have known what I think of my rules. :) Anyway, go and read it here.

More Education Thoughts

2006-06-26T10:12:00.000-05:00

There is an exception to every rule it seems. Of course there are exceptions to that rule as well :) And as such when writing my first thoughts on education many exceptions came to my mind, and defining circumstances that would change the way a situation might be handled. I didn't want to talk about them there though for fear the main point would be drug down too drastically. So here I'd thought I'd share some of my further thoughts in case you read the last post and had thoughts like "But what about....and she can't possible think that in a case like..." and so forth.

First I would like to say that I think it is important when trying to establish a general philosophy on something that you keep a few things in mind. One, is that a base working idea will do you more good to start out with than one filled with "what ifs" and second to not hold so tightly to the general philosophy that it can't be altered as you gain more wisdom or as the situation presents itself. So even though I do rather think the general ideas I laid out on education have broad application to most families (I believe towards the end I was so bold as to make such a statement) they are not the end all thoughts on the matter, they are not even my end all thoughts on the matter. And if another family believes they are being lead in another direction then more power to them. The thing about opinions is that we believe that ours are the right ones- if we didn't then we wouldn't have them. So keep that in mind that although I will use phrases that indicate I do think this has application to more people than those who live in my house, I also know that I could be wrong about that and am always happy to be shown that I am.

Ok, all that is out of the way...some of my personal exceptions to my "rules" of education:

1. Family distress. It is probably obvious from my previous post that I think that a woman should be at home instead of in an outside career. However, I know that can't always happen. A wonderful woman who I had the privlege of hearing speak at my old church (woman's gathering, not Sunday ;)) encountered such an event in her life. She was homeschooling her 7 children, classical education style, when her husband got very ill. In a beautiful and heavenly turn of events it was actually her who ended up diagnosing him when the doctors were unable to and when he almost died. He has a condition which leaves him unable to work, but she was able to find a good job in her former field of chemistry. She was actually hired by a woman who had a very similar circumstance as her and was very understanding to her lack of previous experience and yet great need for the work. It is just an amazing story of God's provision. Anyway, now her husband handles the homeschooling and has chosen to go in a different direction instead of classical. This is just one of many possible situations of family distress that could necessitate ones' home looking different than what might be considered "the general rule".

2. Period Of Preparation. There are many people who get married and have kids before being done with schooling or job training (I'm one of these). As such the work and schooling demands of the parents have to be worked in with the children's schooling. It might be a season where free schooling outside of the home is the only option.

3. Single Parent. If there is only one of you, your options become more narrow. Once again this could make public school or all day school the best choice for your family.

Ok...there are probably many more, but those are the first 3 that come to mind. A few other exceptions to some things that I said are probably worth stating as well. First, I made the argument that it is best for the family to not be separated all day, with further activities on top of school commitments, only giving you dinner time as time together as a family. I do hold pretty firmly to this. But, I think (and this is more conjecture on my part from interaction with friends who had this sort of up bringing) that if you have had a lot of time together as family when the children are younger and a very firm foundation is laid, then 8 hours away at school is likely to be just fine. And it is well worth noting that if the relationship is strained in the older years (speaking from a child's perspective here) it probably isn't going to be time together alone that will help to fix it. I do think time though is a good component to restoring a relationship. Also, I am certain I gave the impression I am again extra-curricular activities, which isn't entirely true. I am against one activity after another, after another, after another. Often school involvement tends to snow ball, and what starts out as music lessons and one sport for the year very easily turns into music lessons for two instruments, a sport for every season, youth group, etc. For example, when I was little I started out with piano lessons, and then during the summer I took swim lesson and did basketball camp. After a few years flute was added, then volleyball, then another basketball camp, and then martial arts, and then I started teaching music. Then high school hit and it was cheerleading, cross country, choir, pep band, drama, FFA, church choir, youth group, worship team, piano lesson, voice lessons, tennis, and a part time job. Oh, and I was working to graduate early and taking AP classes, so about 3-4 hours of homework every night. I was on pretty much every page of the year book. So pretty much all year I had school commitments and then after school practice, and then after practice homework, and then music, and before you know it I was only seeing my family at dinner, and not always then because basketball games start at 6:00. So, I'm all for activities like sports and the arts, but I do think it is extremely important for families to limit the snow ball effect.

I do know that in setting up my philosophy of education like this I am putting public school as an alternative choice when the situation calls for it and not an equal choice with homeschool or private school. This I stand by. Public school isn't always bad, but I don't think it can be considered as good to have children whose parents yearn for them to serve Christ to sit under the authority of someone who does not share that same goal and may even be antagonistic towards it. I don't think it is fair to the child to teach them respect for authority and then try and expect them to sift through what truth is coming from the teacher and what isn't. I'm certain good parents can combat this influence, but it is still going to be very hard on the children to have the split authority over them with two very different goals.

Alright, I'm sure I missed a few other exceptions, but overall I think the point is clear. I believe that the family having the majority of their time together is the best, and that an education which is Christ centered given by those who serve Christ is also best. And there are often exceptions that create different circumstances that God will use for great good in the life of the believer. We have that promise.

So, readers- what are your thoughts? Am I out in left field? Right field maybe? How are you/going to educate your children and more importantly why? What do you think the goal of education is?

Education Thoughts

2006-06-23T14:50:00.000-05:00

I've been in two conversations recently where my thoughts on sending my children to public school came up. Both times, partly to my surprise, I responded "over my dead body." When I first reflected on this response I thought maybe that it was a bit too strong of a sentiment. After all, I could think of a few cases where I would consider public school. But as I thought through my exceptions to the rule I realized that for the most part there would be exceptions to those expectations and I can't truly think of one "for sure" case in which I would send my kids to public school. Perhaps if laws were enacted requiring it, but you better believe I would fight hard to make sure those laws were never passed in the first place.

I have many concerns about public school, but let me state from the beginning that very little of the concerns are on the individual school level. I know many people who are teachers, thought about being one myself, and I have encountered many great public schools. I went to public school and although I know there are same gaping holes in my education, for the most part I did very well and came out better for it. And although I know that there are probably many poor teachers out there, I have encountered very few in my time in school and overall consider my interaction with my teachers to be some of the greatest benefit I had while in school.

I do have concerns large enough however to keep my children from attending. The first is simply the time that is taken. The schools days are long, many elementary schools are cutting programs like art, music, PE, and recess in order to have more classroom time to get students ready to pass national tests. Which means for the most part we are taking children at around 6 or 7 years old and having them sit still and quiet for 5-8 hours a day (depending on how the classroom is run and what activities the school still has). That is too long if you ask me. Small children should no be holed up that long, period. Especially not little boys, it simply isn't how they are made. Before having children I taught at a school that met from 8-12, during that time there were two fifteen minute breaks and 45 min. PE 3 times a week. All students were taking at least 5 classes, some more, and all students were taking a foreign language. They were taught how to learn, how to think, and how to use their time wisely. Busy work wasn't given because we didn't need to fill up extra hours that we didn't have activities for. The school got more done with just 3.5 hours of work than most do with 8. After seeing that system I'm not sure how comfortable I'll ever be with sending my children to schools that meet all day and then send homework home on top of that, public or private.

Which is probably a good sage way to say that I don't necessarily think private schools are the answer either. There are often many problems with private schools, and generally all private schools run on the whole day model that public schools do, so while the overall education might be better, it is still a really long time for a little boy to sit at a desk.

Now, I also have some serious issues with Public School and how they are paid for, but those are thoughts on government more than education, so I shall save that for another post.

Overall, I fear the Public Schools try to teach to the median student. (Remember those math lessons on averages?) And granted, there are many students who will be served by this. But there are two categories who won't be and who I fear will not only have their education needs not met but will also have very wrong ideas about what is important in life. These are the "gifted" and "special education" categories. Don't get me wrong, it isn't the ranking so much that I am concerned about. It is of course a fact of life that some people are going to be better at some things, some people are going to be prettier, some more musical, some smarter, etc. That is simply how it is. My concern is that the gifted students will come to think that they are intrinsically better as a human than the ungifted students simply because they are better at math or history, while the special education students will come to believe that they are some how less as a human because they can't do long division. Our worth as people are not defined by our reading skills, or our ability to understand geometry. But when you take everyone of a certain age group and say "you should all be able to do this ______" you are creating a false model. Most every teacher or parent understands that each child is unique, and while a child may be way above grade level at math the same child can be way behind in reading. That child is neither gifted nor stupid- that child is simply that child. But the system is not set up to handle a 5th grader who can do Trig. but can't read Dr. Sues. One way or another I think the majority of student are short changed by the way the most schools are set up. There isn't any margin for the individual child. I'm not saying that a classroom needs to cater to every whim of every child, but if we want a student to be well educated I think the instruction has to start at the level they are actually at, not the level we want them to be.

And so I think that the ideal system is either a half day school where the subject levels are distinct from grade level (ie: you can be in 3rd grade but taking 9th grade english and 2nd grade math) or to homeschool. This is what I think will ultimately teach children the most about the subject and foster the best environment for teaching one how to think and learn and to desire to learn.

There is another thing to consider though in the subject of education- what is our ultimate end goal? What, at the end, will be defined as success and what will be defined as failure? Spunky at Spunky Homeschool asks "Why do we educate?". It is her premise that we must answer the why before we answer the how. I think there is great wisdom in this. When she was asks why she educates her children she gave this response:

"My children's success is not determined by a degree or a dollar. That a well educated child is one who knows and loves the Lord their God with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength, and loves their neighbor as themselves."

I would put forth that this is ultimately the goal for all Christian parents. We mustn't define our success by the world's standard: a good job and lots of money. An education might produce those results, and that is well and good, but that is not success. When my children complete their "formal" education I will not care if they know that 1588 was the defeat of the Spanish Armada, that F=ma, or pi is 3.1415926.... I will consider their time spent in school successful only if they love the Lord, fear Him, serve Him, and desire wisdom from His hand. That's it. I don't care if they are Nobel Laureates or have their doctorates by 23, if they don't know God I failed in their education. Period. Everything is a waste of time if you don't know Christ and serve him. Read these thoughts for further clarification of this principle.

What other results would I like to see besides that? Once again, they have nothing to do with book knowledge. I want my children founded in a solid Biblical world view. One that is purposeful in comparing all things to God's standards. I want my children to have hearts that are turned towards home- to love and enjoy myself and their Abba and brothers and sisters. I want them to consider time spent with family time well spent, and that their siblings are the best friends they could ever ask for. Does this mean I intend to keep them locked up here 24/7? Absolutely not. For I also want them to love their fellow man, Christian as well as not, and to hunger to serve and share to God's Word. I want them to understand what the world is like and to have hearts which break over the lost. And I don't see how separating the family and siblings for 8 hours a day (longer if they do extra-curricular activities) will best accomplish these goals. Yes, students do come out of public school who serve Christ and love their family, but it is my observation that is the exception and not the rule. New recruits are not put on the front lines, nor are young plants without strong roots exposed to the elements. Yes, sometimes both would survive, but it isn't worth the risk.

Do I think I'll homeschool for all 18 years? That depends heavily on where we live as well as the individual child. I might have a son or daughter who is an amazing musician and homeschool suits them very well because it would give them ample time to practice. And I also might have a student who is incredibly gifted at science and would be better served at a school with a good lab, or perhaps just going to work with their father. We'll cross those bridges when we come to them. But I don't see having my kids get up at 7 and have breakfast, be in school from 8-3, after school activities from 3-6, dinner from 6-7, homework from 7-9 and then to bed just to get up all morning to do it again. That gives us maybe 2 hours a day as a family together and I don't think that is acceptable. I will go so far as to say that it probably isn't acceptable for any family. I know that will step on some toes, and I'm sorry for that. I too was a child who loved being involved in activities and had one for pretty much every season. The schedule above was my schedule. And as such I didn't have a heart that was inclined towards my home and family. Yes, I loved my parents, but really I preferred time with other people over them, and got out of the house to pursue my own interests at the earliest age I could manage. It has really only been since having children of my own and moving across the country that I have realized how much I missed by this attitude.

So what is your goal? Answer that question first and then make decisions about how to achieve it. Pray hard, seek God, live out the end result you hope to see in your children. Don't simply do it the way that the government says to, or your friends say to, or how your family did it. Seek the best, don't settle.

More thoughts are sure to come on this as I move closer to school age with my kids. I don't expect that in 18 years I'll do things exactly like I think I might do them now. But the goal still remains, God's call on our life still remains, and that must be the most important factor.

Chesterton on Housewives

2006-06-22T19:29:00.000-05:00

There has beenmuch response in the blogosphere about this article and then this one as well. The basic gist of the original article is that feminism failed because women are choosing to forsake high paying careers in order to be housewives and raise their children. The author's basic premise is that it is detrimental to both individual women, and society as a whole, when women leave the workforce for the home. Go and read the articles and the responses to them, it is worth your time to understand what much of the popular sentiment is towards those who choose family over work.

I had thought about writing an article as well. After all, my blog is theoretically dedicated to my life as a housewife, so what better place to discuss one Professor of Womens Studies take on my life. However in reading some of the commentary on the web, I read the following quotes by G. K. Chesterton and truly he says it better than I ever could.

"Women were not kept at home in order to keep them narrow; on the contrary, they were kept at home in order to keep them broad. The world outside the home was one mass of narrowness, a maze of cramped paths, a madhouse of monomaniacs. It was only by partly limiting and protecting the woman that she was enabled to play at five or six professions and so come almost as near to God as the child when he plays at a hundred trades."

"When domesticity, for instance, is called drudgery, all the difficulty arises from a double meaning in the word. If drudgery only means dreadfully hard work, I admit the woman drudges in the home, as a man might drudge at the Cathedral of Amiens or drudge behind a gun at Trafalgar. But if it means that the hard work is more heavy because it is trifling, colorless and of small import to the soul, then as I say, I give [the word]up; I do not know what the words mean. To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labors and holidays; to be Whiteley within a certain area, providing toys, boots, sheets, cakes and books, to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness."

No posts

2006-06-19T16:18:00.000-05:00

My children are happy until I sit down to blog. It's like some sixth sense or something. I have a bunch of things I want to write and hope too soon. I just have to wait until I have both hands free. Don't give up on me yet.

The Basset

2006-06-03T00:11:00.000-05:00

This past month I have discovered a new favorite thing. It is a PG Wodehouse novel. In the past few weeks I have read Damsel in Distress ,Carry On Jeeves , Right Ho Jeeves , Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit , and The Mating Season. All but one of the books feature the characters Wooster and Jeeves, and two of said titles include a character by the name of Madeline Basset.

A wise man once compared me to Madeline Basset. In my defense I am no longer like Madeline Basset, and even at the time the comparison wasn't entirely fair. However, not long prior to this point the resemblance was ridiculously accurate. Madeline Basset is the sort whom think of the stars as God's daisy chains, and that every time a fairy sneezes a baby is born. So while to compare someone to The Basset (as Wooster calls her) isn't exactly derogatory, it certainly isn't a compliment. Those of you who know Nolan will be amused by the fact that Madeline's fiance loves newts. Anyway....

Like I said, I am no longer much of the Madeline Basset persuasion. Hearing her description at first sounds a bit over the top, but sweet perhaps. And yes she is sweet, but sweet like saccharine, not like honey. It isn't the sort of sweetness that makes life good, but the sort that leaves a foul taste in ones mouth. Being like that, which by the by was actually brought on by Anne of Green Gables, was my way of ordering the world how I most desired it. I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that reality isn't always pleasant- so why not simply alter reality to make it more to your liking? Why not believe ideal things about days past, dress weird, pretend you can talk to dryads in the forest and that the trees are your friends? After all, believing that the stars are God's daisy chains is far more pleasant than believing you're alone in the world and that it is a scary and dark place.

Ultimately, we all want peace and order. For me for many years I tried to create it for myself on a storybook level. Some people try to do it with money or relationships or careers. All of these attempts fall flat however, for the only way to truly order your world is with God and to do so within the constraints of His reality. Yes, the world is a fallen and dark place, but it does not become less so by simply ignoring reality. It is dark, but we're not alone and it is in Christ that we truly find peace, and order, and meaning. Evan said all of this far better here and here and here.

All of that to say that I love PG Wodehouse, enjoy the character of Madeline Basset, and praise God that I'm no longer like her. Go read Wodehouse, you'll love it.

ITT Tech Rant

2006-05-25T17:41:00.000-05:00

Alright, every time I see this commercial I always think to myself "I'm going to blog about that" but then forget. So here is my long-time-in-the-making rant.

You've probably seen the commercials for ITT tech. They star real life graduates that are giving their testimony as to the greatness of their life since obtaining their degree. So far so good, right? I mean a bit of love and loyalty to the alma mater isn't a bad thing in the least. However, the way one of the commercials portrays the before and after really gets my goat.

Nice looking gal most likely in her early 30's appears on camera, "I used to be a stay at home wife." (said as if the life achievement is comparable to that of the garden variety fungi) She continues, "I knew that if I wanted to give my kids everything they needed I'd need a degree." You can't see my expression in reaction to this, but suffice it to say it isn't celebratory.

I wish I could write ITT tech and complain about the bias of their advertising department, but alas I fear that isn't really where the problem is. Somewhere along the line women have come to believe the lie that those who can be productive members of society work, those who can't settle for being stay at home moms. And if you are a stay at home mom the basic assumption is that you're counting down until you get to ship them off to school at which point you're going to sit on the couch and eat bon bons. GRRRRRRRR! (yes, that is me growling.)

Really though I don't growl long, for more than anything this makes me really really sad. I think about this poor woman who was at home with her children and felt like it wasn't enough, that somehow the things they could buy with her paycheck were of more value than her time at home.

Yes, there are families that really do need two incomes. I mean truly need both, not need both because they like their two income life style. My mom for example had to work. At the time of my birth my dad didn't have a job and they needed to buy things like groceries. My rant is not against women in the work force who need to be there. There are also plenty of situations where women need to be the sole wage earners temporarily, or are able to have jobs else where that don't compromise their instructions to be keepers of their homes. I know many women back home who teach part time and it works quite well within the other responsibilities. So just to make it clear, I'm not ranting about anything like that. I don't think any moms who are working outside the home are somehow not as good as mothers who don't, or that there is a requirement Biblically to not earn an outside income, far from it.

Rather it is this mentality that working full time is somehow the preferred state for anyone who has half a brain. I really believe that this is why most women choose a full time career- because they have bought the lie that it is truly better, that they can't have a fulfilled life unless they are outside of the home, that their children will suffer for lack of stuff, that the larger home and the two cars is what is necessary for happiness.

That's what bothers me about this commercial- that the expressed sentiment is that the woman was able to escape from a meaningless existence into her best life now just because she got a full time job.

At this point I'm just rambling. But in summary I desire so much for women to break free from this mentality. No, working isn't bad for mom's to do, not at all. But staying home is a good thing, a fantastic first choice, not a consolation prize for those of us who couldn't come up with a better idea.

My Mama

2006-05-20T18:56:00.000-05:00

My Mama was baptized two weeks ago.

At the time she called to tell me that she was going to be, I have to say I wasn't particularly optimistic. She started going to church in January, but I hadn't heard her talk about much besides the people there, so I wasn't sure what was up. I knew why she had started to go to church. Basically her marriage sucked, and although many aspects of her life were in good working order she wasn't happy, wasn't at peace. In December she came to visit for a week and said she saw what a great marriage we had and how happy we were and she wanted that, so she decided to find a church. We didn't have any conversations about the Gospel per say, but rather for one of the first times he had a chance to spend time with Christians in their home and just be a part of life there and it resonated within her as something desirable. I can't begin to say how humbled I am that God used our family in this way. It is a blog post unto itself really. Let's just leave it at, I don't have delusions as to my greatness- if there was anything good she wanted, it was God's doing and not my own. An answer to years of prayer.

Anyway, she started going to church. And praise be to God, it was a good church. Basically she picked it by its proximity to her house, and in it she found people who loved her. That is really what I've heard the most about- that people loved her as soon as she got there. And given the majority I've heard about the preaching there, I can't say I'm surprised. Apparently they are pretty big into the importance of Christ lived out, not just preached on Sunday morning. But I hadn't heard much from my mom on the lines of I'm sinner who Christ died for and in whom I believe, so although I was happy she was going to church I didn't have much reason to think it was much more than a social activity at this point.

So when she called to tell me she was being baptized I asked the logical "What prompted this?" question. To which she replied, "Well, I figured if I was going to be a Christian then I should get baptized." Still I was a little confused, but it seemed like it could be good news, so I was cautiously hopeful.

The past few weeks though have been different. Or rather, she's been different. She hasn't been complaining, she hasn't been in a constant state of unrest, she has been content and at peace about her marriage. Now, I live 2500mi. away so seeing a person's life is rather hard, but if this was the sort of thing you'd bet on, I'd bet that my mom has met the Living God.

I'm almost scared to get excited. It has been something I've longed for since I became a Christian 9 years ago, and yet after awhile I think I stopped having faith that it would happen. I just became accustomed to the state of things and resigned myself to its continuance in perpetuity. But that isn't God, that isn't His kingdom. Although we may lose hope, lose sight of the goal, and even lose our zeal for the lost around us, He never does.

So Praise be to the Most High God for His Son, for saving those who were lost, for finding my Mom, for answering prayer.

I don't know what this will change in our relationship, and I don't know what it will mean for the rest of our family, or her marriage, or any number of other things that I thought I had figured out. But I do know that this is always the desired occurrence and the God works all for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Which now seems to include my mom. Have I mentioned praise be to God? Well, I mean it.

Pray for her, a new baby Christian in a difficult situation. Pray for me to be there for her in the way that is best for a daughter as well as a sister in Christ. And Bless the Lord, with all your soul and all that is within you, Bless His holy name. Amen.

Pt. 4: Some Thoughts

2006-04-28T11:05:00.001-05:00

Ok, so I meant to get this post written two days ago. But everyday living got in the way and that's how it should be and so here I am writing my follow up posts now.

Lately abortion topics have made Yahoo headlines, I've noticed it brought up in a few different shows that I watch, and have been listening to Vienna Teng's CD whose song lyrics I posted a few days ago. So, the subject has been on my mind. Perhaps it jumps out at me all the more with a new baby in my house, I'm not sure. I know that when I was pregnant reading headlines about abortion made me physically ill. Now, with the baby here, they make me so very sad. Sad for those women who never got to meet their precious children. My life has been profoundly changed and infinitely enriched by having children and my heart breaks for those who denied themselves this chance.

As such, I decided I would go ahead and post about the subject. Pt. 1 was the lyrics to a really great song by .an artist well worth checking out. Pt. 2 are images from a baby in utero taken by a 4D ultrasound. Pt. 3 are simply stats, the figures minus the rhetoric. For the start of any discussion knowing what the information is, is the best way to begin.

So, what does one do with the topic of Abortion? It is something that is always at the fore front of any political race, with both sides believing they have everything to loose if the opposing candidate wins. It is something that is talked about in many schools, churches, families. But what do we actually do with it?

Some people take their hatred for abortion and with it create a new evil. They bomb clinics and shoot doctors. They yell horrible things at fragile women, all in the name of Christ. They are the people we see on TV and wish that they would just shut up, disappear, claim some other name rather than the one of our savior. We know, that whatever else we do, it isn't suppose to be like that.

Going back to my first post, the lyrics of "Shasta":

"you're all alone in this world no that's not true
the nice Christian lady told you so
she was handing out pamphlet by the clinic door
saying "Jesus knows what you're been through
take the Savior into your heart my child
there's love waiting for the both of you"

That I think is probably what we're supposed to do on a one on one level. Yes, abortion is wrong. No, not just wrong, it is horrific. I had considered posting the descriptions of procedures on here that I found at a clinic's website, but to be honest I couldn't even get through reading them myself. This isn't a grey issue. Abortion is murder. Period.

But, we can't forget that there are still real people involved. People who need to know the love of Christ, people who need Him and His salvation. They need to know that they are sinners in need of Christ's grace-but not because they are getting an abortion, but because all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

We also have to remember the pain that these women are carrying around with them. As much as people would like to try and deny that the fetus which they aborted was not actually a human, we all know different. This really hit home with me the other day when I caught a Sex In The City rerun. One character was considering an abortion and asking her friend who had had one 13 years ago for comfort:

Miranda: "I'll go in there, and do this, and then rest for a few days and I'll be ok. I'll be fine. I'll feel normal again. Right? I mean, how long did it take until you felt normal again?"

Carrie: "I'm hoping any day now"

Go back and read the statistics on the number of women who have had abortions. They are staggering. And they cover all age groups, races, religions, and economic backgrounds. There is a very good statistical chance that when talking to someone who is for abortion that they have had one. Not always of course, but I think it is good to keep in mind. That you aren't debating with them about something theoretical, it is likely very personal. That doesn't mean we say something is ok when it's not, but that we once again remind ourselves that we are dealing with real people, with real pain.

One thing about, is we as a culture have an abortive mindset I think. We view children as something that we add to our family when and if they desire. Children aren't blessing from God, but family accessories. We know longer look at God as being sovereign over the womb, but rather feel we get to be simply because there is medicine to help make it happen our way. And even beyond the conception of babies, society as a whole is very age segregated. Yes, we have our children, but we don't really have to interact with them much after that point if we don't want to. There are countless activities to send each family member in a different direction, keeping the kids separate from each other and from the parents. Our hearts as a nation are abortive even if we never have an abortion ourselves.

And yes, I'm making big generalizations here, and using "we" and "our". To be honest, I think that is fair. I think that even those of us who are fighting hard against this mindset have still been poisoned by it. Even though we know it is wrong, we still fight against it in our lives. Not always succeeding either, as it is hard to go against the current.

This post isn't necessarily going where I thought it would. I had intended to talk more about as a society what the abortion debate looks like, the terms pro-choice and pro-life, and the importance of defining life as beginning at conception. I had intended to continue this "series" dealing with the issue of emergency contraception and the implications from that information. I still might. But first I do think it is important to figure out how to frame the conversation with people. The topic, and all topics related, are intensely personal and highly emotional. I don't think that means they should be avoided though. It is life of unborn children which is at stake and that is more important that minding our own business.

I'm hoping to continue this weekend with further thoughts on the matter, but right now I don't have the mental energy. And I might not anytime soon for that matter, so this may get put on hold. As is, I'm feeling like I could have done a better job on this post had I waited, but I didn't want to leave the first three out there without any explanation.

Pt. 3: The Stats

2006-04-25T10:22:00.000-05:00

The following is a list of abortion statistics. Numbers are derived from pro-abortion sources courtesy of The Alan Guttmacher Institute and Planned Parenthood's Family Planning Perspectives, as well as the Center for Disease Control.

WORLDWIDE

Number of abortions per year:
Approximately 46 Million

Number of abortions per day: Approximately 126,000

Where abortions occur:
78% of all abortions are obtained in developing countries and 22% occur in developed countries.

Legality of abortion:
About 26 million women obtain legal abortions each year, while an additional 20 million abortions are obtained in countries where it is restricted or prohibited by law.

Abortion averages:
Worldwide, the lifetime average is about 1 abortion per woman.
© Copyright 1999-2000, The Alan Guttmacher Institute. (www.agi-usa.org)

UNITED STATES

Number of abortions per year:
1.37 Million (1996)Number of abortions per day: Approximately 3,700

Who's having abortions (age)?
52% of women obtaining abortions in the U.S. are younger than 25: Women aged 20-24 obtain 32% of all abortions; Teenagers obtain 20% and girls under 15 account for 1.2%.

Who's having abortions (race)?
While white women obtain 60% of all abortions, their abortion rate is well below that of minority women. Black women are more than 3 times as likely as white women to have an abortion, and Hispanic women are roughly 2 times as likely.

Who's having abortions (marital status)?
64.4% of all abortions are performed on never-married women; Married women account for 18.4% of all abortions and divorced women obtain 9.4%.

Who's having abortions (religion)?
Women identifying themselves as Protestants obtain 37.4% of all abortions in the U.S.; Catholic women account for 31.3%, Jewish women account for 1.3%, and women with no religious affiliation obtain 23.7% of all abortions. 18% of all abortions are performed on women who identify themselves as "Born-again/Evangelical".

Who's having abortions (income)?
Women with family incomes less than $15,000 obtain 28.7% of all abortions; Women with family incomes between $15,000 and $29,999 obtain 19.5%; Women with family incomes between $30,000 and $59,999 obtain 38.0%; Women with family incomes over $60,000 obtain 13.8%.

Why women have abortions:
1% of all abortions occur because of rape or incest; 6% of abortions occur because of potential health problems regarding either the mother or child, and 93% of all abortions occur for social reasons (On average, women give at least 3 reasons for choosing abortion: 3/4 say that having a baby would interfere with work, school or other responsibilities; about 2/3 say they cannot afford a child; and 1/2 say they do not want to be a single parent or are having problems with their husband or partner (AGI)).

At what gestational ages are abortions performed:
52% of all abortions occur before the 9th week of pregnancy, 25% happen between the 9th & 10th week, 12% happen between the 11th and 12th week, 6% happen between the 13th & 15th week, 4% happen between the 16th & 20th week, and 1% of all abortions (16,450/yr.) happen after the 20th week of pregnancy.

Likelihood of abortion:
An estimated 43% of all women will have at least 1 abortion by the time they are 45 years old. 47% of all abortions are performed on women who have had at least one previous abortion.

HOW ARE ABORTIONS PERFORMED?
95% of abortions were known to have been performed by curettage (which includes dilatation and evacuation [D&E]). Most curetage abortions are suction procedures(CDC).
Hysterectomy and hysterotomy were used in less than 1% of all abortions (CDC).
Medical abortions make up approximately 3% of all abortions reported (CDC).

WHO IS PERFORMING ABORTIONS?
The number of abortion providers declined by 11% between 1996 and 2000 (from 2,042 to 1,819) (AGI).
97% of abortion facilities provide abortion at 8 weeks, and 86% provide services at 12 weeks, but provision drops off steeply after that, with only 13% of providers offering services at 24 weeks (AGI).

ABORTION FATALITY
In 2000 (the most recent year for which data are available), 11 women died as a result of complications from known legal induced abortion (CDC).
The number of deaths attributable to legal induced abortion was highest before the 1980s (CDC).
In 1972 (the year before abortion was federally legalized), a total of 24 women died from causes known to be associated with legal abortions, and 39 died as a result of known illegal abortions (CDC).

THE COST OF ABORTION
In 2000, the cost of a nonhospital abortion with local anesthesia at 10 weeks of gestation ranged from $150 to $4,000, and the average amount paid was $372.20 (AGI).
In nonhospital facilities offering mifepristone for use in medical abortion in 2000, the average cost of a medical abortion was $490.23 (AGI).

MEDICAL ABORTION
About 37,000 medical abortions were performed in the first half of 2001; these procedures involved the use of mifepristone or methotrexate (AGI).
Approximately 600 providers offered medical abortion in the first half of 2001 (AGI).

ABORTION AND CONTRACEPTION
Induced abortions usually result from unintended pregnancies, which often occur despite the use of contraception (CDC).
54% of women having abortions used a contraceptive method during the month they became pregnant. 76% of pill users and 49% of condom users reported using the methods inconsistently, while 13% of pill users and 14% of condom users reported correct use (AGI).
8% of women having abortions have never used a method of birth control; nonuse is greatest among those who are young, poor, black, Hispanic or poorly educated (AGI).
9 in 10 women at risk of unintended pregnancy are using a contraceptive method (AGI).

ABORTION AND MINORS
55% of minors who have abortions do not tell their parents (AGI).
32 states currently enforce parental consent or notification laws for minors seeking an abortion: AL, AR, AZ, DE, GA, IA, ID, IN, KS, KY, LA, MA, MD, MI, MN, MO, MS, NC, ND, NE, OH, PA, RI, SC, SD, TN, TX, UT, VA,WI, WV, and WY. The Supreme Court ruled that minors must have the alternative of seeking a court order authorizing the procedure (AGI).

ABORTION AND PUBLIC FUNDS
The U.S. Congress has barred the use of federal Medicaid funds to pay for abortions, except when the woman's life would be endangered by a full-term pregnancy or in cases of rape or incest (AGI).
17 states (AK, AZ, CA, CT, HI, IL, MA, MD, MN, MT, NJ, NM, NY, OR, VT, WA and WV) do use public funds to pay for abortions for some poor women. About 14% of all abortions in the United States are paid for with public funds (virtually all from the state) (AGI).

Abortion coverage:
48% of all abortion facilities provide services after the 12th week of pregnancy. 9 in 10 managed care plans routinely cover abortion or provide limited coverage. About 14% of all abortions in the United States are paid for with public funds, virtually all of which are state funds. 16 states (CA, CT, HI, ED, IL, MA , MD, MD, MN, MT, NJ, NM, NY, OR, VT, WA and WV) pay for abortions for some poor women.
© Copyright 1998, The Alan Guttmacher Institute. (www.agi-usa.org)© Copyright 1997, The Alan Guttmacher Institute. (www.agi-usa.org)© Copyright 1995, Family Planning Perspectives© Copyright 1988, Family Planning Perspectives

Chemical Abortions

RU-486: When a woman is given RU-486 (also called Mifepristone), it kills her baby by interfering with progesterone, the hormone which keeps the baby implanted in the wall of the mother’s uterus. Two days later, the woman returns to the clinic to receive a prostaglandin drug which induces labor and expels the dead embryo (RU-486 is used until 7 weeks after the first day of her last menstrual period). If the baby hasn’t been expelled by the time the woman makes her third visit to the doctor, she will require a surgical abortion procedure (5-8% likelihood). Raymond, Klein & Dumble, the pro-abortion authors of RU486 Misconceptions, Myths and Morals, (IWT Pub, 1991) stress that RU-486 is not safe for women and list the following contraindications (reasons a person should not take RU-486): under age 18 or over 35; menstrual irregularities; history of fibroids, abnormal menstrual bleeding or endometriosis cervical incompetence, previous abortion, or abnormal pregnancies; pelvic inflammatory disease; recent use of IUD or the pill 3 months.

Methotrexate & Misoprostol: Two drugs that were developed for cancer (methotrexate) and ulcer (misoprostol) treatment are now being used in combination to kill babies. Methotrexate is used to poison the baby and then Misoprostol empties the uterus of the baby. Keep in mind that Methotrexate is a chemotherapy drug with the potential for serious toxicity, which can result in the death of the mother as well as the baby. (Methotrexate & Misoprostol to Terminate Early Pregnancy, R. Hausknecht, New England Journal of Medicine, Vol.333, No. 9, 8/31/95, Pg. 537 and “Methotrexate & Misoprostol,” M. Creinin et al., JAMA, Oct. 19, 1994 and Physicians Desk Reference)

Pt. 2: A Picture

2006-04-24T21:55:00.000-05:00

Pt. 1: Shasta (Carrie's Song) by Vienna Teng

2006-04-24T21:46:00.000-05:00

so far so good
you're coming to the bend at the end of the road
you put a hand to the belly that's foreign more
with every day like an oversize load

and you're thinking about clouds the color of fire
and the scent of an orange peel
the way Mt. Shasta explodes into windshield view
and your hands steady on the wheel

so far so good
coffee motel coffee diner coffee go on
styrofoam is drying like the tears that once did flow
starting 10 o'clock and ending at dawn

and you can't go back but you're going back
and you don't know what you'll say
you've got half-formed sentences
explanations for a life half-broken away
and they just may
they'll take you in their arms and then take out their knives
so you drive on thinking

so far so good
but you can't go on much longer like this you know
you're all alone in this world no that's not true
the nice Christian lady told you so

she was handing out pamphlets by the clinic door
saying "Jesus knows what you've been through
take the Savior into your heart my child
there's love waiting for the both of you"

well you don't believe but you have to believe
it's still crumpled there in your back seat
were you the hero or the worst kind of coward back there
putting pavement back under your feet
couldn't stand the heat
couldn't stand the thought of ghosts with a negative age
turn the page
OK

so far so good
you try to sing along to the radio
but it's not your language not your song
it's from some other time ago

and you're thinking about how someone died that day
the you that was so carefully planned
but then again maybe this life is like a sleeping mountain
waking up to shape the land

calm calm let it come let it come back to you
calm calm breathe on out you know you know what to do

Babies are for Wearing

2006-04-11T18:31:00.000-05:00

Believe it or not, this post is being brought to you by sesame Street. The letter B. And the shape of the day- circle. Sorry. No, seriously, I really was inspired by sesame Street to write on this subject. I've been pondering sharing my thoughts on this for awhile now, and then when today on sesame Street they had a segment about life in Africa and every mom you saw had a baby tied on their back I decided it was time.

A little background if you will.....When I was pregnant with my first child I though I wanted a BABYBJÃRN carrier. My only close friend who had a baby had one, and she just loved it. Then, about a month before I was due I saw a young mom in the grocery store with her baby in a beautiful sling. It was this vibrant purple color, the mom looked comfortable and confident, and the baby was happy. So I went home and searched for what I presumed she was wearing- a baby sling. I ended up here and bought myself a beautiful blue batik sling. The only problem was I didn't know how to use it. I didn't know anyone who had a sling, or had used a sling, even very few who knew what a sling was. So I played with it for a little while, making the cradle position work when she was a newborn and then not using it again until she was big enough to ride on my hip. Instead she spent most of her baby days in her car seat when out and in her swing when at home. It worked fine, but I didn't like how disconnected it left me feeling from my baby. When we were out and about it left her on the floor or in the cart, not next to me where I could keep her happy and safe.

So while pregnant this time I did a lot of reading about baby wearing, watched moms that I now knew who used slings and other baby carriers and began life with this new little girl much better prepared. I acquiredd new baby carriers: a Mei Tei, a rebozo, and my personal favorite- a pouch.

Now, before I continue, I will admit to shamelessly borrowing most of the rest of my links and organization of thoughts, as well as the title for this post from this article. It is very good and well worth the read.

Anyway, baby wearing, to me, makes perfect sense and to be honest, I can't imagine getting through the day without at least one of my baby carriers. In fact, I have my little girl in my pouch right now, tummy to tummy, happily sleeping away. They are especially helpful with a toddler about. Obviously my day has to consist of more than sitting on the couch and nursing my newborn. I have another daughter to take care of, a house to clean, food to cook, etc. While wearing my baby I can do all of these things while keeping her happy and fed. Yes, you can even nurse in these things.

Baby wearing is decently trendy right now with many options even in main stream stores- but it isn't anything new. This is a tradition that goes back thousands of years and spans all cultures. For some pictures from around the globe click
here, here, here, here, and here. And go
here to see mama's getting things done using baby carriers.

Basically to me it seems most wise to look at how things have been done for ages and have worked well and do that. We don't all have to be figuring everything out for ourselves. In fact we shouldn't try, but rather support one other and pass on what works. Baby wearing works. There is definitely a learning curve involved, not only in learning to put on the carriers but getting used to doing things with them on. It is well worth the effort to learn though.

I think life with babies is about balance- family life can't stop for a new member at the cost of the old members, but neither can the baby simply be set aside to wait until they are old enough to play. Rather, I think that children of all ages are to be apart of all family life. Families I think should be together in activities- playtime, eating, chores, etc. Baby wearing helps accomplish this and I would highly encourage all moms to check it out.

Housewife Gear

2006-04-06T09:33:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post to share with you all the new must have for every housewife. Vintage style, oil cloth aprons. For those of you not familiar with oil cloth, it is a slick, wipeable fabric. Similar to vinyl in a way, but WAY cooler. Hat tip to Barbara at Mommy Life. Not sure yet though if I'm thanking her or upset. As anyone who has been in my kitchen in real life knows, I have a weakness for aprons. I love them. I wear them everyday. All styles and colors, but especially anything vintage and retro. I want to build up my collection so I always have one that looks cute with whatever I'm wear that day. It is as much about an iconic statement as it is about practicality. Yes, I do want to be a 50's housewife in case you were wondering.
Anthropologie is another place to find such wonderful items. Also not sure if I'm happy I was shown that store or not. Makes that whole do not covet thing extremely difficult.

Well, I am sitting her sipping my coffee in a strangely quite house for 9:30am. Normally by this time the eldest has been up for hours and the wee on even longer. But they are both sleeping. It is amazing to me how God blesses us with these little things. Just when one thinks you can't go on functioning without some extra sleep, you get extra sleep. And not only that, but an extra 30min to enjoy coffee and reading and writing. Pretty cool.

I know reading around here as of late has been sparse, and much more of a journal nature than it used to be. But life is busy and I'm doing good to record what is happening, let along wax eloquent about the greater principle behind it. Hope to return to regularly scheduled programming soon.

24

2006-03-30T13:23:00.000-06:00

No, this is not a post about my Pastor's favorite TV show. Rather, it is the announcement that I made it through my first 24 hours after having the last of family leave. Me and two girls under the age of 2. They out number me, and I'm sure it won't be too long before they join forces, but for now there is no mutiny in the ranks. In fact, all has gone so much better than I thought it would. For example-I wasn't sure if I would be in front of the computer again for months, or get to eat regularly, shower, or anything else. So far I've had a shower, have only missed one meal, worked out, vacuumed, and done some laundry. I feel accomplished.

Now, I wish I could report that I've done it all calmly and with perfect joy. Nothing could be further from the truth. We've had several meltdowns as I've tried to find things in my kitchen, one of those tearful attempts to sleep I mentioned a few days ago, and more than one bitter seed trying to take root. Thankfully though I have a husband who cares as much about my Godliness as he does about providing a home for his family and loving on his girls. His gentle reminder yesterday that I was letting things effect my joy has been a huge blessing.

Let me elaborate on the basic principle- life is simply life. It is not always going to be easy, simple, good, or enjoyable. Chances are that people around you are going to screw up in big and little ways. You are going to be sinned against, it is that simple. But just because someone else sins doesn't give you any right to sin yourself. As Christ's we have the spirit God. We have been given all that is needful for righteousness. Part of that is rejoicing in our Lord always. Not some of the time, not most of the time, not just when things are going well-but always. To do otherwise is sin. We are suppose to be as Christians taking sin very seriously. We are to hate sin in the way that God hates sin. And as such we musn't be looking for excuses for our sin or ways to make ourselves think it isn't really sin at all. ("I'm not without joy, just a little annoyed, frustrated, etc...")

The thing I find so great and so freeing about this is that if this sort of attitude in myself is sin then I get to confess it to my Lord and repent of it and seek His power to overcome it. I don't have to stay in a bad mood and I don't have to come out of that bad mood by myself. It's a good thing too. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and as I am daily reminded, nothing without Him. Praise be to God.

Time to shake things up a bit...

2006-03-22T17:46:00.000-06:00

On a different note, I'd like to direct people's attention to this post written by one of my heroes of the faith. This post, like most of them, is short and to the point and without apologies. I'd be happy to help anyone get ahold of his writing as it is immensely practical and immensely helpful and immensely Biblical.

Entertainment

2006-03-21T13:46:00.000-06:00

I've had cause recently to ponder the nature of entertainment and how it is to fit into the life of the Christian. What, you may wonder, prompted these thoughts? Well, it is my addiction to Gilmore Girls and getting to borrow seasons 1-5 on DVD. We've watched little else here this past month. Not only that, but we've been watching A LOT of Gilmore. But the more I've watched, especially so much in so short of time, the more acutely I've been aware of the world view which underlies the show and the sort of "people" the main characters really are.

Now, I have the habit when watching a show or movie to view the situations and people the same way I would real people in real life. So I get attached to these people, I feel like I know them, like I would want to have them over to dinner to hang out, that sort of thing. But as I've been watching Gilmore Girls I have realized the Lorelei and Rory aren't people I that I would really ever be good friends with. In fact, I would have concerns about close and intimate ties with people who are so antagonistic towards the majority of my world view. But what do I do with this information? Does it really matter that the main characters of my favorite show don't line up with Biblical truth? Does it really matter that they aren't people to be admired or emulated? I mean, it is just entertainment, right?

I'm beginning to think though that it does matter, and that letting things fall under the blanket protection of "entertainment" just doesn't cut it. I should follow that sentence though with the caveat that I intend to keep watching Gilmore for now, and have no intention of returning the DVDs today or anything like that. The thing though I that I wonder about is the sense of entitlement that we all seem to have in regards to entertainment and relaxation and down time. It is a part of our mindset that we are somehow deserving of entertainment-that the right to watch a movie or a TV show or read a book is inherent in the make up of the universe. It is taken for granted that we all need "down time" to relax and get back on track in order to do everything else better. And maybe we do, I honestly have no idea. I can see much good coming from forms of entertainment. First of all, truth can be expressed in fiction. Read this article at my husbands blog for expansion on this idea. But basically real Biblical truth can and is contained in much fiction and it can be to our great benefit to read. Also there are bonds which are formed sitting down as a family or friends and enjoying entertainment together, talking about it, laughing together. And "down time" can come in various forms-many of them very good. Playing an instrument for example can be used for the good of many, arts and crafts can benefits those less fortunate (think church quilting circle) and leave hierlooms and memories for the generations to follow. So I am certainly not thinking for a moment that everything which isn't work or Bible reading is bad and should be thrown out.

What though are our standards by which we judge how we spend our time? And what effect are these activities having on us? Do we get so caught up in a favorite movie or TV show that we are ok with the compromised morals of those involved? I know I have. (For fellow Grey's Anatomy fans, anyone else find themselves rooting for Dr. Shepard to choose Meredith?) And beyond even choosing our entertainment and down time, how much time do we commit to even those things which are good? Do we more earnestly pursue our hobbies and entertainment than we do our God, His Word, and the families which He has given us?

I don't have answers to these questions, but I am beginning to understand that the way I spend my time is something I need to be conscience of. It is important to not simply go through my day on auto-pilot, not having any concern for the concrete things of God. It isn't enough to pray before meals and think about blog posts and read the occasional Christian blogs. There is much which we can and should be doing with the time our God has given us and perhaps that doesn't need to contain as much entertainment and me time as I once thought it did.

Sleep: A poor substitute for caffeine.

2006-03-20T16:50:00.000-06:00

Sticking with the general theme of posts lately- I have a newborn. She is amazing. I don't think it has really sunk in yet that I have two kids. Really, it seems a bit surreal that Nolan and I are even married (if you know our dating story you'll understand why) let alone that we have children. But I am married to my high school sweetheart and we do have two beautiful daughters.

And in the grand tradition of having a newborn in the house, sleep is extremely elusive. If you talked to me during the first couple weeks of her life you'll be surprised I am saying this because all I did those first couple of weeks while awake was nurse her and gush about how much she loved to sleep. Seriously, I was getting almost 12 hours of sleep a night, with a good 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep in there. It was such a blessing. As is typical though, that season of sleepiness is over and we are in the stage that vaguely resembles a POW camp. You know: no sleep, no showers, no unaccompanied trips to the bathroom, sporadic meals, and various physical tortures that would be inappropriate to discuss here.

Like most people, I don't do well on no sleep. Actually, I get desperate to be brutally honest. I take to tearfully pleading with a small child who has no capacity to understand, let alone comply, to "please sleep. please. please. please. please sleep." I tend to forget, after just one night, that sleep does return to vaguely normal patterns in just a few short months. That it won't be long before she only needs to eat once, maybe twice a night, and then not at all. Then she'll leave our room and go and have an endless slumberparty with her big sister.

The trade off though isn't half bad I must say. I am sitting here getting to be on the computer, drinking a really good cup of coffee, with the perfect little girl asleep on my chest. Yes, asleep. The
pouch has magical powers. Get one. Anyway, this is a season that is filled with so much joy and peace and feelings of wanting it to never end, and yet at the same time it's season that is exhausting and even occasionally makes you think that this is the last baby that I'll ever consider having. I love it, all of it. When I'm 80 I'm not going to remember the nights I got a good sleep. I will remember though what my precious angel looked like at 2am as I rocked her and she nursed peacefully at my breast.

I'm clean

2006-03-18T14:01:00.000-06:00

Ah, showers. Wonderful things, aren't they? You don't truly realize how nice it is to be clean from head to toe until you haven't been for awhile. And anyone who has had a new baby in the house knows that showers don't happen regularly. Right now I am sitting here clean and smelling good with my hair combed for the second day in a row. It just might be a miracle.

It won't last though. Yesterday about 5 min. after getting out of the shower my angelic baby threw up in my hair. Not long after her sister repeated the same performance in my lap. They are both sleeping right now, so for awhile I am clean.

{rest of post removed due to its inability to make a point or really truly say anything....so enjoy what was suppose to be this deep post and now is nothing more than a glimpse into my hygiene habits. Oh well.}

Birth Story

2006-03-14T12:29:00.000-06:00

To be honest, I'm not sure how to go about writing about the birth of my second child. So many blogs do such a wonderful job of telling about the birth of their children, and yet the style in which they do it just isn't me. I don't want to simply go through and write about the stats of how long I labored and pushed and and how big she was and what drugs I took and all of that. I shy away from that partly because the details are fuzzy in my mind. They are coming in focus a bit more as time goes by, but still the exact details of what makes a birth story aren't particularly solid. But the main reason I don't want to write about it in the normal way is that it seems the experience of giving birth is so much more than simply the stats. So, this is my attempt at not only telling what "happened" but the emotions and lasting effect behind what happened. This record is more for me than anyone else. Giving birth was one of the most amazing experiences of my life and if anything is worth writing about this is.

I should start out with a brief recap of the birth of my first daughter. It was a scheduled c-section about 2 weeks before my due date. I never went into labor and had very few contractions. We went into the hospital on a Thursday morning, I was preped and taken to the OR and about 20 min. later my beautiful, perfect baby girl was born. True to her nature she was screaming before she was even out and didn't stop till they brought her to me in the recovery room. I was fortunate to be up to holding her very soon and she was brought to me less than an hour after she was born.

The thing is though, I wasn't a participant in her birth. I had the position of an involved spectator so to speak. I was physically effected, but only because of what was done to me not because of what I did. I wasn't able to get around very well for almost 2 months after the operation, and it was a full 2 weeks before I was really able to pick her up and do many of the basic care. It wasn't until I was pregant again that I realized how great a toll this had taken on me emotionally. It was then I realized that I didn't want that experience again unless it was absolutely vital for the safety of my baby. I wanted to labor, to experience the pain and toil of child birth, to be able to take care of my baby after she was born, to be there for my toddler. Don't get me wrong, I think c-sections are amazing procedures and I am so thankful that they are available. And I would not hesitate to have one again if I really needed it. I just wasn't convinced I needed it this time-so we went for a natural birth.

My due date was Feb. 19 and since I had had a c-section they wouldn't induce if I went over but instead would want to do a repeat c-section so we were praying hard that I would go into labor before my due date. On Feb. 14 I started having contractions every 10 or so minutes, but they were pretty mild so I didn't really think it was going to turn into anything. By about 6pm that evening the contractions were still 10 minutes apart and had gotten painful, but I was still able to function fine. In fact I had the bright idea of going to Hobby Lobby and getting fabric to make baby bedding out of. I contiuned down the path of "bright ideas" by trying to make said baby fabric when I got home. Now, perhaps you don't think this is that big of blunder? Well, I wouldn't either except when I was pregnant the first time I was warned by many women that generally when you go into labor you get a burst of enegery and a desire to do a project. Further more, I had been talking about that said burst of energy all pregnancy and was determined to watch out for it. One would think that with 6 hours of contractions just 5 days before my due date I would have noticed it. One would think that my husband asking if this was the burst of energy I would have noticed it. But, no, I didn't notice it. And I continued to work on said bedding until midnight. Now, by midnight I had been having contraction 5 min. apart for about 3 hours and wasn't able to sew during them any longer. Finally I decided that I might be in labor. Honestly though I still wasn't convinced. So I took a shower and finally laid down to try and get some sleep about 12:30. But the contractions didn't let me sleep for more than a few minutes at a time, so when at 4 I knew I was for sure in labor I was very tired. The next hour was when things really started to pick up and get uncomfortable. This hour was also when I began to start throwing up and that we decided it was time to go into the hospital.

When we got there they immediately wanted to do many things which I really didn't- give me an IV, break my water, and hook me up to an internal monitor. I agreed to the IV as I was concerned about getting dehydrated, but put them off on the other things. So, to speed up this narrative....my contractions stayed at 5 min apart until about noon when they picked up to about 2-3 min. apart. But by about 4 (I think this was the time, this is where it starts to get fuzzy) I was still only at 8cm. dilated so we broke my water. Contractions are much worse when your water is broke. Much. And then about 4:30 (I think) came the pitocin. Contractions with pitocin make the other contractions seem decently pleasant. My heart goes out to all the women who are routinely induced with pitocin and having their waters broke. I would have signed up for the epidural I think had I had to endure the pitocin from the beginning.

So at about 5:45 I was ready to push. I had no clue what I was doing in terms of what muscles to use. By that point I had gotten kind of stuck in bed because the contractions were coming so fast I hadn't been able to move to a better position. So I ended up delivering in the position I really didn't want to-but it did the trick, so ce la vie. My first push did nothing. I could tell right away that it was totally in effective except to make me more uncomfortable in the contraction. At that point I had my first doubts of "I'm not going to be able to deliver this baby." But by the grace of God the second went better, and the third MUCH better. By the third push I knew that this was going to be fine, I could do this, and soon I was going to get to see my baby. I didn't think it would be as soon as it was though. At 6:11 my little girl was born. The part of the whole ordeal that I had been most concerned about was really the easiest. I didn't feel it when I tore. And I did get to feel everything else. For the sake of the male readership (if they are still reading, which I seriously doubt)I won't go into too much detail....but I got to reach down and feel her head and was able to tell how much of her body was still left to be pushed, and such things. That was amazing. I was the participant in the birth, not just the spectator.

After she was born they put her right on my chest and I got to cuddle her there skin to skin for the next hour while they stitched me up. That was so great. She didn't leave me, but just cuddled there contentedly. In fact, with the exception of a very short cry right at first, she didn't cry at all. She was just happy and perfect. Sleepy really. She was 6lbs 8oz, 18 3/4 inches long, 13.5 cm head.

But those are just the stats.

What isn't included in those though was so much. Like deciding to use some pain meds when I had originally thought I wouldn't. I ended up getting two doses of Demerol and an anti-nausia med, along with a dose of Nubain with the pitocin. They didn't help much with the contraction pain exactly. Certianly some, but the main goodness of the drugs was that they made me sleepy so in the stage of 5min. spaced contractions I was able to almost sleep inbetween them. And in the late stages it made me sleepy enough to relax. This gave me the energy to push when the time came. After 30 hours of contractions, 36hours with out sleep, and about 21 hours of real hard labor I had no energy left. None. Now, I probably would have found the energy I needed to push without the meds, but I really think I would have pushed more. I am glad that I took them. Part of me really wanted to not to somehow "prove" something. Ultimately though I realized that was a stupid and rather wrong reason to do anything. I have nothing to prove. And I certainly don't need any growth hormones added to my pride. So if nothing else it is probably good for me that I can't say I did it completely natural.

I am sitting here though now trying to find words to describe the other behind the stats emotions of birth. Feeling the pain of the contractions and knowing that it is working for good- for each one works to bring your baby into the world. Knowing that your husband is there with you, loves you and believes in you. Having to put your trust in God and God alone when you know that although it is "you" doing this, it is only by the grace of Him and with His strength that you will be able to endure and bring a child into the world. Believing at times that it wasn't going to work, and furthermore was going terribly wrong and you and your baby were in danger and having to turn that fear over to God and feeling His peace wash over you. And so many other things that are only vague impressions, nothing I could ever put into words, but experiences and feelings that I wouldn't trade for the world.

I definitley prefer natural birth to a c-section. I don't feel closer to one daughter over the other though. She isn't more special or more loved. Rather it is something I just feel immensely blessed to get to have exerpienced once in my life. If there is a next time, which I pray that there will be, I will do things slightly different. First, I'm hiring a doula. So much of the reading I did and things I wanted to try to help with pain and with tearing I completely forgot about. Also, I really want to look into a birth center instead of a hospital. I want to be with people who look at pregnancy and birth as something which is a part of life-not a medical condition which needs to be treated.

Wow, I have all these impressions half formed in my head and I can't tell you about them. So I shall end this really long post now. There are sure to be further thoughts on babies, and labor and delivery, and children (especially the older reacting to the younger), and all of that....but for now, this is my birth story. There are things left out, and details I probably have wrong. But this is the way I remember it and so that's how it is and probably will be forever.

God is so good. In all ways, in all times. Whether the perfect birth ending in the perfect healthy baby or in the hard labor ending in heartache, and in everything inbetween. I'm still overwhelmed by how amazing it all is. Go and have children for yourself, I can't explain anymore.

3Psalm 127:3-5
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
4Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one's youth.
5Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

I am rich

2006-03-13T21:17:00.000-06:00

There has been a drought around here of posts. I started out strong, adding new posts every week. But after the first few months things really tapered off. It is my intention to change that. I think I may even move all this over to a blogger site and once and for all have a real blog. We'll see.

The main factor in my lack of posting has been being pregnant. Which is what this post is mostly about. I love being pregnant. I love knowing that there is a little person inside of me growing. This individual, distinct person that I have the privledge of being mother too. And what I really love is how easy it is to tell almost from the beginning that they have there own personality and traits. The pro-life movement talks a lot about when the heart beat starts, and when they have finger prints, and how early they are fully formed-but it is far more than just anatomy being formed in there. I knew with my first that she was going to be high energy, high maintance, and strong willed. She used to move around so fast in there that you would swear she had eight legs. She used to kick me if I was in a position she didn't like and wouldn't stop until I moved. For those of you who know her, you can attest that she is still rather like that. Where as my new little one I knew was much more mellow. I always felt regular movement, in fact started to feel her move at 13 wks, but it was slower, more deliberate. Simply-she wasn't as spastic as her older sister. And even in this first month it has proved to be her nature. She is laid back, likes to cuddle, let's the big sister poke her without any fuss.

All of this really amazes me. My children are unique creations of God. They are His and have been given traits by Him. Yes, they are here for me to raise and to help mold into Godly women, but it was The Potter who molded them first. And really it is Him who will continue to do so, I just get to participate.

My husband tells me that I grow good babies, and I hope that those things which are under my control I do well. But I didn't give them these personalites, these gifts. Like all good gifts, they have come down from the Father of Lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.

I nevewr thought that at 23 I would be married (almost 5 years now) and with two children. I would have it no other way though. It is good that we aren't given a magic wand to determine the course of our futures, and it is good that all prayers are not answer with a yes. Many are the plans of a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Praise be to God that it does.

And Praise be to God for babies and motherhood. It truly is amazing.

“Here is a little mouth to kiss; here are two more feet to make music with their pattering about my nursery. Here is a soul to train for God, and the body in which it dwells is worth all it will cost, since it is abode of a kingly tenant. I may see less of friends, but I have gained one dearer than them all. Yes, my precious baby, you are welcome to your mothers heart, welcome to her time, her strength, her health, to her most tender cares, to her life-long prayers! Oh how rich I am, how truly, how wondrously blest!”
~ Elizabeth Prentiss’ Stepping Heavenward

Since it has been far too long since I posted.....

2006-02-24T21:14:00.000-06:00

Well, I have things of far greater import to post on than this, but since I dont' ahve the time right now, I shall simply answer the tag of My Husband and do the survey that has been floating around for awhile.

Four Answers -
The idea is to answer the various questions; tag 4 new people; and add a question of your own.

Four jobs I've had:
1. WSU pre-game food service
2. Waitress
3. Nanny
4. English and History Teacher

Four movies I could watch over and over:
1. Slinding Doors
2. Playing By Heart
3. Ever After
4. Scarlet Pimpernell (Jane Seymour version)

Four books I could read over and over:
1. Chronicles of Narnia
2. Comte de Monte Cristo (the full 1500 pg. version, translated by Little Brown and Co.)
3. Space Trilogy
4. Lord of the Ring

Four places I've lived:
1. Lewiston, ID
2. Moscow, ID
3. Spokane, WA
4. Houston, TX

Four TV shows I watch:
1. Glimore Girls
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. Injustice
4. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Four places I've been on vacation:
1. Puerto Vallarta
2. Carribean Cruise
3. McCall, ID (Zimms Hotsprings)
4. Portand, OR

Four websites I visit daily:
1. http://www.bloglines.com
2. http://choosinghome.com/phpbb2/index.php
3. http://www.gmail.com
4. http://www.yahoo.com

Four favorite foods:
1. whipped potatoes and gravy
2. Caesar Salad
3. good chocolate
4. Big Haus Mexican

Four places I'd like to be right now:
1. having dinner at the Big Haus
2. having dinner with the Atwoods
3. listening to Eric E. play at the Nuart in Moscow with a good cup of coffee, My Husband, and a chess set
4. on a beach somewhere with a margarita, looking good in a bikini, with my husband

Four favorite articles of clothing:
1. My going away dress from my wedding
2. well worn jeans
3. swishy knee length skirts
4. 4" high heals

Four of my philosophic bases of life:
1. Touchstones
2. the exsistance of Absolute Truth
I'll have to ponder the other two.....not sure right now

Four people from history you'd like to have over for dinner and an evening of conversation:
1. CS Lewis
2. Mary
3. Shakespeare
4. Luther and wife

Four things most formative to the nature of your personality and pursuits and mental constructs:
1. The Bible
2. The Chronicles of Narnia
3. My Husband
4. AP English: especially the study of the Puritans, Transandentalism, and the Romantics

My Question:
Four Events that changed to some extent who you are:
1. Becoming a Christian
2. Getting Married
3. The sermon given March 10, 2002 by Evan Wilson- "True Righteousness"
4. Giving Birth, both C-section and natural just in different ways

Four people I am tagging:
The Last four people on the web who still haven't done this....ok,maybe just haven't done this in the past 6 mo.? If you don't have a blog feel free to leave it in my comments (that means you Dru. :) ) Comment if you do this.

Everyone want to solve world hunger- no one wants to help mom do the dishes

2006-01-25T21:11:00.000-06:00

That is the title of the most recent post over at Effable , a blog written by a good friend of ours. This post is extremely good and should be read. As are the majority of his posts actually. Read this one and you'll be hooked. Sorry for the lack of activity here as of late. I am only about 3 weeks from D-Day and in full nesting mode. Hope to get up a post or two before the new little one gets here.

Belief

2006-01-05T21:10:00.000-06:00

Belief is not merely the suspension of disbelief. Furthermore, beliefs have consequences.

Random Musings on Modesty

2005-12-13T21:07:00.000-06:00

Warning: this is going to be disconnected at best, and uterely impossible to follow at worst. Mainly due to the fact that at this point I have ideas, not a basic hypothesis and especially not any working theory but sometimes putting ones ideas down helps to clarify the thinking process. Besides, if I don't write some of these notions down, I'm going to forget. Oh, it is also long. and I didn't have time to edit. You've been warned.So, both at our church women's Bible study this month as well as at the choosing home forums the topic of modesty has come up. Each group with very different input on the matter. This has led me to ponder further my thoughts. Let me share some of them.First, a godly woman should dress and act in such a way that is chaste and modest. Alright, but what are the working definitions of these words? We don't have in the bible the books of First and Second Hem Lengths, so obviously it is more than a matter of conforming to a set of exact rules. No great surprise there. Christianity isn't about a set of rules which you follow which then brings about righteousness. It is Christ who makes us righteous and it is a matter of the heart, not how many good rules we can come up with. However, we tend to think that the shortest distance between unrighteousnes and righteousness is a good law and thus we get many of the problems we deal with in discussing modesty of dress.Second thought- it has been put forth by many that we should dress so as to not make others stumble. Certainly. I'm on board with this 100%. I dont' fully understand the temptation of the eyes that most guys deal with, but I'm not completely seperated from the concept either and I want to honor them and encourage them to righteousness. But where is the line here? I once saw an episode of "My Wife and Kids" (I don't recommend that show btw) where the daughters boyfriend was struggling because of how she was dressing. So a lot of the show plays around her dressing more and more conservitely and him still struggling and ultimately her ending up in a burque and him still being tempted because "he could still see her eyes" then on went the dark glasses but "he could still smell her shampoo". Now, this was over done, but does raise an issue worth considering. At what point does it cease to be the concern of the girl? At what point has she taken the necessary steps to encrouage those brothers around her and the rest is a heart issue that is up to them? I'm not as naive as I was in high school and college where I thought it all should be up to them (although, in some ways I probably dressed more convering then than now, but that is a different point) but I do know that those who want to look are going to look and further more, different guys stuggle with different things. In talking to some of the ladies on the choosing home forum I've heard about their husbands and male relatives who really struggle with pants (even what most of us would consider modest ones) on women because of how much of the form that is shown. Where as other guys it is going to be a tight shirt that is a stumbling block. But there again, waht is tight? Do all impression of breasts, waist, and hips need to be gone before it is modest? Do we need to toss a shirt on the off chance that if we turn a certain way and someone is positioned just right, they could see down it? At what point does it get ridiculous?Third thought- dressing for the occaision. Other aspects of modest dress is where are you going and what are you doing? If you're headed to the beach to play volley ball, wearing a little swim suit that you're going to pop out of or are going to need to be tugging on all day is a bad idea if you're trying to be modest and not cause anyone to stuggle. But does that make a swim suit always a bad idea? What if you're going to swim laps in a private pool? Or leisurely lay on a beach to get some sun? What standard is applied to swim wear then? Also, for church, what is best? Does it depend on what church you're going to? If your goal isn't to stand out, if you're at a church that doesn't dress up at all then you shouldn't either. But maybe it is more about not standing out? I tend to think it is. That dressing for the occaison is a good starting point, but can't be the only determining factor. Afterall, if there is something which is truly better about a dress for a girl (and I'm not saying that there is) then we should wear that whether it makes us stand out or not. The idea the modesty isn't about standing out from the crowd or drawing attention to ourselves simply doesn't hold up under scrutinity. After all, with the cultural trend of less and less fabric covering our bodies a woman whose shorts do more than simply cover her butt and whose shirt actually goes all the way to the top of her pants is going to stand because there is something truly different. So, the concern about being distracting and not drawing attention to yourself is all well and good, but like dressing for the occaison, it only takes us so far as to what we are to do.Next thought- the different in consideration of dress for the single woman vs. the married woman. If you are single your dress should be determined first by godly standards, then familial rules, and finally personal preference. If you're married then it should be determined first by godly standards, husbands preferences, and then your own. In other words, if you're single and you know your father is going to hate the dress- don't buy it. And if you're married and know your husband prefers blue to pink, get the sweater in blue. It isn't rocket science. But lets add a different dimension to dressing when married. Wives should dress godly, and in such a way to please their husbands, and this most often means making sure we look nice. This may or may not draw attention to ourselves. We may or may not receive compliments from other people. Neither of those things really matters I don't think. Rather, you are looking nice in order to please your husband. Heck, this might even be what one might call sexy. (no rotten tomatoes please) For example, my husband loves really high heeled shoes. There is no getting around that 4" heals have a certain sexy quality about them to the majority of the male population. I don't think though that should preclude me from wearing them to please my husband when we go out. However, most husbands also like lingerie and I think we can all agree that lingerie is not apropriate attire outside of the bedroom. I don't know that I can point by point explain the difference, but sometimes it is just idiotic to explain something that basic. Final thing- is there some different category of dress for a formal worship gather that makes something which is modest on Friday, not modest on Sunday? Of course, this leads to the question, is there something particular about a formal worship gather vs. an informal one of just two or three? We as Christians are the body of Christ. Our bodies are the temple of the God. We are in His presence and no longer have to go into the holy of holies to meet Him. So does this make Sunday morning no big deal? Or something which is more casual? Or should the rest of our lives be less casual? If we believe that we are always in the presence of God then is our blase (sp?) attitude about dress, apperance, entertainment, etc. truly acceptable? These aren't all questions I feel like dealing with right now, but I think do tie in directly to how modest dress comes into play in the coorperate gathering. So, I guess in summary- I think modesty of dress is extreamly important. I think that caring for the righteousness of your brothers and not tempting them is extreamly important. I don't think that we can prevent others from sin, but rather can only be of encouragement, at some point it becomes their heart issue-I just don't know which point. I don't think attempting to look nice is a bad thing-in fact generally I think it should be sought after. I don't think that if you draw attention to yourself that you're not being modest, quite possibly the opposite even. I think occaison and location should come into play in how you choose to dress, but that they aren't the end all of determinators. I tend to lean towards there being a better way or preferred style of dress but I don't have a hard and fast theory on that, it is just a leaning. I agree with my friend Shannon (www.kaleoshannon.com) that conservative does not equal modest. Christian freedom is a good and wonderful thing. There may be nothing wrong with dressing like a punk rocker, goth, or even a dominatrix (ok, maybe not that last one...) but just because something is ok doesn't mean that it is the best option or that we should be content with simply not actively sinning.Finally, I sometimes just wish I was amish or mennonite or that Christianity had it's own burque. But then I am reminded that what I desire is true righteousness, not a good law. So no hem length guidelines here, just ponderings on the best way to be godly through modest dress. All input is welcome. A follow up post is likely to follow in a few weeks.

If you are interested....

2005-12-13T11:24:00.000-06:00

I have a live journal account where I started writing originally. My plan was to switch all my posts over to here and have myself a "real" blog. I don't have time to do that. Oh well. So, if anyone stumbles across this site and would like to read and comment more go to:

www.livejournal.com/users/tlnicholas

It has all the posts that are on here, plus some new ones. Hope you stop by!

And Babies Don't Keep....

2005-09-20T21:04:00.000-05:00

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

This seems to be a recurring theme as of late as I talk to friends and read blogs. The idea being that we are in some certain season of our life and that we should take joy and cherish that season. Spunky at Spunkyhomeschool Blog posted on the subject of season in her childrens life today. It was a fantastic reminder to go through the season which we are in with joy and gusto, embracing the new season to come while cherishing every moment of the one we are currently in.

And that is where I have trouble.

My baby girl is growing up. She didn't get my permission.

I know that I am going to sound like the stereotypical sappy mom when I say it seems like just yesterday we brought her home from the hospital and she was so tinny and so sleepy and just wanted to cuddle all day. And then one day I woke up and she was eating solid foods, getting teeth, walking, starting to talk....you get the idea. I don't want her to be big yet. It's not that I don't want her to grow up ever, I just didn't want it to happen so fast. The really depressing thing about this though is how much of this first year I spent not truly cherishing these moments. Overall I think I did a good job of enjoying those early days and stopping to laugh with her and to just enjoying her emerging personality. But now that this first season is almost over I realize all the times I could have slowed down more; all the times a TV show didn't need to be watched, a book didn't need to be read, a blog post didn't need to be written.

This is the way it is with most seasons of our life though I think. When we're single, we can't wait to get married and then those last days of singleness are upon us and we realize all the stuff we didn't do but could've. Then we are married but have no children, and we can't wait for the kids to be here, but those last fews months we soak up every moment of one on one time we can get. The same goes with high school and then college, college and then a job...you get the idea. We are always in one season of our life that is only going to last for what will seem like a blink of an eye and the next season will always be there before. And we must live in the tension of that. Enjoying the season we are in, loving it, soaking it up, not wishing it away but at the same time when it passes accept that passing and embrace the next season with joy and thanksgiving.

So, my baby girl is napping and the baby days are almost over. The napping ones probably are too for that matter. So I am going to go and cherish my hour of time to get things done with no one else up and about- not wishing for her to wake up to play, not dreading that she'll wake up before I get the laundry folded- but just knowing that to everything there is season. My mother in law gave me a beautiful cross stitch for the nursery when I was pregnant that had been given to her when she was pregnant with my husband. I'll end with it's words of wisdom:

Cleaning and dusting can wait till tomorrow
For babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow
So quiet down cobwebs and dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

Adorned With Divine Approval

2005-09-16T21:01:00.000-05:00

A great quote on why I do what I do. Found it on Amy's Humble Musings Many Thanks. Go check out her site, great stuff.

"Our natural reason looks at marriage and turns up its nose and says, “Alas! Must I rock the baby? Wash its diapers? Make its bed? Smell its stench? Stay at nights with it? Take care of it when it cries? Heal its rashes and sores? And on top of that care for my spouse, provide labor at my trade, take care of this and take care of that? Do this and do that? And endure this and endure that? Why should I make such a prisoner of myself?”

What then does Christian faith say to this? It opens its eyes, looks upon all these insignificant, distasteful and despised duties in the spirit, and is aware that they are all adorned with divine approval as with the costliest gold and jewels.

It says, “O God, I confess I am not worthy to rock that little babe or wash its diapers, or to be entrusted with the care of a child and its mother. How is it that I without any merit have come to this distinction of being certain that I am serving thy creature and thy most precious will? Oh, how gladly will I do so. Though the duty should be even more insignificant and despised, neither frost nor heat, neither drudgery nor labor will distress me for I am certain that it is thus pleasing in thy sight." ~Martin Luther from "Concerning Married Life" (1522)

Oh God, keep this always in the forefront of my mind and heart. Thank you for using me in your plans and giving me gifts of which I am so unworthy. My God, How Great Thou Art.

Oh...so it wasn't the music

2005-09-13T20:56:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time I went to a little Lutheran Church (ELCA)in a small farm town. It was a safe, sleepy little town and the church was much the same. There were many families who went whose great-grandparents were some of the first families in the area and had helped to build the church. There was much tradition and great loyalty. I really liked going to church there for the most part. It was within walking distance from my house, which was good considering my parents didn't go to church. The choir director was my piano teachers, about 80% of the teachers from my school went there, I was good friends with the pastor and his family-it short it felt homey. What I didn't like was the music. Organ and piano with hymns sung out of the Luthran Book of Worship. Songs that I came to fondly refer to as BLH's-boring lutheran hymns. They all felt so dead and lifeless and most of the time it felt like we were singing funeral durges instead of praises to our God. Then the non-denominational church and the praise band came into my life. Wow, it was like night and day between the two music styles. It finally felt like the music was really praising God, like the congregation was alive and wanted to worship joyfully. For many years I went to non-denominational churches and was generally a part of the worship team (or whatever it was called in that particular church). I really loved the modern worship music. I thought that the style of the music was what made it feel alive and like the congregation was truly worshiping. I really believed that back in my old lutheran church the hymns were the problem and if they just had better music it would be fixed.One sunday we visited a new church. Although this church wasn't as heavily liturgical as the lutheran one, it was still much more traditional than any I had been to recently. And, they sang hymns. Going in I thought that it would be great to visit this one Sunday and then the next week I would be back to singing "Shout to the Lord" in the band. Boy was I wrong. It was all different than before-the hymns were joyful praises to God sung by a congregation who truly loved Him. It was all the same songs from my first church, but they all sounded so different. That's when it hit me....so it wasn't the music afterall. Praising God joyfully in song has nothing to do with the style of the music used, but the hearts of the worshipers. Worshipping in spirit and in truth doesn't require a set of drums or an organ for that matter. It requires a heart that is right with God.

The Search for the Titus 2 Woman

2005-09-07T20:55:00.000-05:00

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled" Titus 2:3-5There is much talk in the church these days of the "Titus 2 Woman". It seems that it all used to be about the Prov. 31 woman, but apparently we've moved on. Now quite obviously Titus 2 is a passage that should be studied carefully and lived out. And it seems to me that all the talk about Titus 2 stems from a true need that is in the church. Unfortunately there aren't many woman who are living this model out and the church truly feels their absence.The response seems to be to write books instructing woman on how to become a titus 2 woman, generally written by someone who claims to be such a woman. Or there are blogs dedicated to this pursuit, and in fact a whole parachurch ministry by the same name. All the woman writing and working in these ministries have a great desire to see the next generation of Christian women to rise up to love their husbands, love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, keepers of their homes, and submissive to their husbands so that the church would be blessed and the Word would go forward. It is a noble and good thing to desire. These books, websites, and organizations have a lot of good information and solid Biblical study to offer and most any woman would benefit from reading them.However, I don't think any of that is actually obeying Titus 2.Titus is an address to a church body, it is instructions on the relations within that body. Paul is addressing older women to teach the younger women in their church to be these things. And it seems implied in the verse a certain responsibility on the part of the younger women as well to learn from these older women. There is an actual relationship involved. You are teaching someone or learning from someone because you are in fellowship with them, because you are doing life with them. A younger woman sees what it looks like to submit to her husband and so learns to do that. It isn't simply book knowledge, it is the joyful truth being lived out right in front of her.Let me reiterate that I think there is great value in books teaching these values and that they should be read. But they shouldn't be a substitute for finding the real Titus 2 woman in your church and learning from them. This is part of what Christian fellowship is about- face to face, daily interaction and sharing of life. That is true fellowship-not commenting regularly on a Titus 2 blog. Now, the natural response I hear a lot on blogs especially is a lamenting of "there just aren't any Titus 2 women in my church. I'm hurting from the lack of teaching from an older woman, I went through a hard time in my marriage because there weren't any older women to instruct me." While all of that may be true, it misses the aspect of personal responsibility that is a part of our Christian life. If there aren't any Titus 2 women in your church that very well may be your fault. It may be you who is suppose to be the older woman. Odds are, you are older and further along in life than someone in your church and could be a benefit to them. And even if you are one of the youngest women in your church, think of the encouragement it would be to the women who are older than you to model these things if they see someone they think of as young doing it. Young women put the older ones on the spot. Ask them how they do these things. I think it is uncomfortable for most of us to either admonish someone in an area they are lacking or to accept teaching. And most often we are in a position where we are asked to do both, which makes it even more uncomfortable. It is hard to go to someone and say, "your speech isn't honoring to your husband and that isn't ok, we should talk". It is hard to go to someone and say, "I don't know how to show love to my children in the way that I ought, can you show me?". But all of this isn't suppose to be comfortable or easy. This is Christianity. So go be a Titus 2 woman and go find a Titus 2 woman so that the word of God may not be reviled.

Abortion

2005-08-24T20:54:00.000-05:00

Normally before I post I think about the wording I am going to use, scripture I am going to reference, a title, the various objections that could be raised, etc. I write thinking about litery deviced and try to edit carefully. Right now I am doing none of that. I can barely see through my tears to type.I just read this article here http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050824/ap_on_he_me/fetal_pain It almost made me throw up. Maybe it's because I am pregnant, but my heat is breaking. Basic summary of the article is that this new team of researchers say that babies can't feel pain until they are at least seven months gestationally. Up until this point the research has suggested 20 months but no real consensus has ever been reached. But what got to me wasn't the constitent use of "fetus" or the obviously biased headline or that obvious bias of the writer....it was the abortions after 20 weeks the baby is given anestestia. Let that sink in for a moment. It is necessary to give this little baby pain killer because of what is about to happen to it. It is going to experience a painful death. These doctors are administering something that is normally given to a patient to make everything easier for them and then they kill the baby. Babies at 20 wks can often survive outside the womb. These are little ones that could make it. Babies that could be adopted by parents that desperately want kids. But they're killed.I have to stop writing. I'm shaking and my heart rate it up and I need to go lay now. This is wrong, this is so very wrong.

The Christian Blogosphere

2005-08-10T20:52:00.000-05:00

Before coming to our new town I had never read a blog. Ever. I knew someone who one time said to me "yeah, so I have a blog now" and I had to ask her what it was. But since that time I have become well acquainted with the Blogosphere. And more specifically, the Christian corner of it. I read mostly blogs of the discussion type: ie blogs that aren't of a personal update nature, but rather want to discuss things pertaining to the universal Christian walk or things going on in Christendom. Most of the blogs I read are of the Reformed circle, but not all. And I do read some blogs that are designed more of an update variety. (Carrie, if you're reading this-blog more! :) )

On the more discussion bent blogs which actually get traffic (so, mine isn't factored into this) there seem to be a few basic categories of posting.
1. Joel Osteen
2. Rick Warren and PDL
3. The Emergent Church movement
4. Current controversial topic "X"
5. What our role should be in the church and home
6. Personal experiences of growth
7. Book reviews to help ones walk
8. Some post of encouragement

It struck me the other day while discussing a blog post with my husband that those last 5 topics are posted on a fair bit but don't generate a lot of discussion amongst the saints in the internet. However, you post something on topics 1-3 or some other thing which can really be debated and a highly visited site could get 100 comments. Why is that? Why do we want to talk more about the evils of PDL or if yoga is ok to have at a church retreat than we want to talk about how to be a benefit to the body and share in what somebody is being taught?

When we get together for face to face Christian fellowship I think all of the topics listed up there are often covered. But I haven't noticed the vast unbalance like is in the Christian blogosphere. I'm not suggesting that addressing the topic of Lakewood is a bad idea, not a bad idea at all. In fact, it seems like a very good thing to discuss. I just don't quite get why we don't go at the core of the Christian life with the same gusto.

Well, then again, maybe I do....after all debating is fun. And it is fun to be right. And in topics 5-8 there really isn't anything to debate, it just is what it is. Many don't take as much pleasure in a bunch of people sitting around agreeing with each other. But what is really of more profit to us? To all debate Osteen or Warren till we're blue in the face or to exhort one another to serve the saints, love your spouse, care for your children, know God. If someone you know wants to base their ministry around "your best life know" it may very well be time for a good hard discussion. But for the most part we all just need to work on loving the Lord our God with all our heart and soul and mind and to love our neighbor as ourself.

So what's the solution? Well, I think the problem lies in the commenters, not the blogs for the most part so the solution starts there. Let those whose blogs you read know the impact that their encouraging post had on you (thanks Bill and Shannon!!!) and even share a story about how it helped or how it was similar to something you went through last summer. Ask questions when things are unclear. Ask for additional info if there seems to be something missing. When someone reviews a book, add your thoughts if you read it and maybe other similar books that could be of use. If no one comments on the more mundane posts I think bloggers are more inclined to post on the more controversial topics, so comment on the good stuff as well as the other. Also, blog owners could shut down comments after the first 50 have said nothing new and are just serving as a means to get the body mad at each other, just a thought. Things for myself to remember if I ever get a real blog. It may happen someday.

Love to all my readers (what....4 of you?) and to all the blogs I read. It is amazing this global online Christian community we all have the opportunity to get to know. Let's use it for the building up of the body and exhorting each other towards Godliness.

Joy and Thanksgiving

2005-08-06T18:29:00.000-05:00

So, the follow up post to what I posted last week. I promised reflections about the nature of joy and thankfulness, so here they are.

I don't think joy is simply an emotion any more than love is simply an emotion, but rather a fruit of the spirit. Gal 5:22 As such I don't think it is an option for Christians. It seems to me that the Bible is pretty clear that if we are Christ's then we have the spirit and if we have the spirit we have the fruit of the spirit. That to act in a way which is contrary to the fruit of the spirit seems to be sin. That we are either living in the spirit or living in the flesh and that for a Christian to be living in the flesh is sin. So I don't think we can afford to view joy in all things and thankfulness for all things as simply perks of the deeper walk club. That somehow those things don't apply to us because we're having a bad day or week or that it is only the nuns who can have a smile on their face all the time and actually mean it. The Bible has much to say on the matter of joy, and often the context is that of joy amidst sorrow or persecution or repentance.

Psalm 32:11
Psalm 51:8
Acts 13:52
Rom 14:17
Phil 3:1
Phil 4:4
Col 1:24
Thes 5:16
1Pet 4:13

As well as much to say on the nature of giving thanks.
Psalm 105:1
Psalm 106:1
Psalm 107"1
Eph 5:20
Col 3:17
Thes 5:18

Not to say that there isn't a time for Godly sorrow and mourning. But just that Godly sorrow doesn't vanquish Godly joy. That there are things which make God sorrowful as well as that of His people, but it won't destroy the work of the Spirit in us.
Rom 12:15
2Cor 7:9

I've read many good things written on the subject of joy and thankfulness. I know the most recent Piper book on the subject come highly recommended (although I haven't read it) and Doug Wilson has one called "Joy at the End of the Tether" (it's a study in Ecclesiastes) that my husband recommends. However, the thing I've read that had the biggest impact on me was a little pamphlet entitled "How to be Free from Bitterness" by Jim Wilson. The basic premise is that joy is a natural outpouring of a Christian and what gets in the way most often of our joy is sin. And one of the most rampant, cancer like sins in the body is unconfessed bitterness. Now, I don't want to get into that whole subject in this post, but put forth that although joy is what we should have sin gets in the way of that joy. So one of the first things to look at if you aren't joyful is unconfessed sin. It could be simply not giving thanks for the situation and thus a bad attitude about it has crept in and stolen your joy. But whatever it is, I believe the Bible is very clear that we are to immediately confess sin, that we are to be joyful, and we are to give thanks for all things.

Now, I shared in the previous post on what I went through in coming to a realization of the relation of this physical life to our relationship with God. I still remember being at a Bible study one time when I was really sick. It had been one of the first times I had been out of the house in weeks and it was great to see other people. I really hadn't expected to have my world changed. The leader prayed for me at the end of the study. Of course he prayed that I might be strengthened and healed and the my husband would be able to do all that was needed to pick up the slack, but the first thing out of his mouth was "Lord, we thank you for this." It wasn't a secret hidden sermon in prayer or anything like that, but just the natural outpouring of a heart that loved God and understood what He asked of us. My initial response in my head was "who is he to be thanking God, he doesn't have to live through this, he doesn't know what is it like" but then it hit me like a ton of bricks. He was doing what I should have been doing all along. I needed to be thankful to God in all things-not just the things I desired. It didn't matter one iota that the man wasn't sick, he knew what was asked of us and did it. And I will never, ever forget it.

While I am thankful that I can share a difficult experience from my life where God taught me many things, I want to stress that I don't think it is required to teach truth. You can become a Christian at age four, follow God joyfully all your life, have great health, a good marriage, happy kids, a roof over your head and food on the table in abundance and still share truth. That's definitely something I took away from the Bible study that night. That I don't need someone who is in my exact position of life and going through the exact same things I am to speak truth into it. If anything, a fresh outside perspective can be a blessed thing.

So in conclusion: Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice. Give thanks to God in all things, for all things. Confess your sin to God and one another that you might be healed. Speaking the truth in love, encourage each other towards righteousness. In the name of Christ, Amen.

The Temporal

2005-07-27T18:28:00.000-05:00

This is a journal entry from April 8, 2002. At the time I had been married for about 9 months. It had been a hard nine months. I had been very sick since about a month after we got married, had had to drop out of school, couldn't take care of the house, and most days could barely sit up without assistance. But God is faithful. He teaches us things even when we don't think we should be required to learn anything at the moment. So here is my entry. I plan to follow it up with some post reflection on the subject as well as some Bible verses.______________________________
I've been really struggling the past few weeks with being really depressed. Mainly due to the fact that I have been in a lot of pain and on a lot of drugs and unable to drive myself anywhere and often unable to really do what I need to around the house. I was getting down, and crying all the time and just getting so discouraged. And I wasn't responding right at all. I was losing sight of striving to be thankful for this and not praying and not being in the word. I'm still struggling with that actually, but that is another entry.
But I was reading the book "Under the Mercy" (which I wouldn't really recommend, but it had some good aspects about it) and he brought up the point that all things are temporary.
But let me go back. As Christians we often say and hear "and this too shall pass" It could really be called a Christian cliche. But until recently I didn't realize what the truth of that statement really was. When we say it, what we usually mean is that the current state of trial and tribulation will be over before we know it and we'll look back on it and realize it wasn't so bad afterall. And sometimes that is true. But the real truth is that all of this will pass. The illness, the financial troubles, the relationship problems, the happy lazy Saturdays, the good time with your spouse, the money, the possesions, the beating of your heart. When we tell a fellow Christian that "this too shall pass" we are right but it must never mean "you will be delivered of this before you taste death" for that isn't always the truth. Everything on this earth, everything we work so hard to scheive, every trial will all end- all of it is temporary against the backdrop of eternity.
And that is what put things in perspective for me. I was really beginning to feel like I couldn't go on living like this. Not that I was hoping for death, but that if the situation didn't changes that I would simply succumb to the depression. But God is showing me that I won't go on living like this-not in eternity. And ultimately that's what really counts. To live is Christ and to die is gain. To quote Caedoms Call "this world has nothing for me and this world has everything. All that I could want and nothing that I need" I love my husband, our home, our family, the church, the work God has given me to do-all of it. But is truly all that matters. And if I am very ill for the rest of my time here on earth it will pass. Pass into something that is beyond my comprehension.

The Tongue- A Little Member

2005-07-07T18:25:00.000-05:00

I have been given a lot of thought lately to our freedom in Christ and how it relates to our speech. There was once a time in the church (it doesn't seem that long ago) where cursing or vulgar speech wasn't heard or if it was it was corrected. I'm not speaking of taking the Lord's name in vain, but rather those words which we use to add emphasis that have for whatever reason been deemed explicit. Of course it hasn't been that long ago that dancing, movies, cards, and women in pants were all taboo as well. Was this previous way of viewing speech simply legalism and unnecessary to our faith and pursuit of righteousness? Or was it a very practical way to make our speech pleasing in the sight of God (Ps. 19:14) and uplifting to those around us? Perhaps a way to set ourselves apart from the average drunken sailor on leave?
Now, one thing that certainly should be considered is the fact that curse words are different between cultures. For example, America and England have a different list of words that are considered explicit. But no matter what the words are, we do know their intent. It may be ridiculous that a word that was once used to define a female dog is now a way to insult someone, but it doesn't change the fact that it is insulting. It is probably equally ridiculous that a concept such as damnation to Hell is thrown around as commonly as "good morning". At any rate, I'm not sure it ends the discussion to simply say well, it isn't swearing (ie:taking the Lords name in vain) therefore not sin, therefore a part of our freedom in Christ just as much as enjoying a good beer is.
As I started writing I must say my thoughts were a little unfocused, still are, but I am starting to lean more towards the conclusion that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. I don't know that there is any way to separate explicit words from their more vulgar secular intents. Most often they are used to either insult or express man's anger, two things that a Christian should never do. After all do we say "Oh Sh--" or "Da--" when our child takes their first step or puts their faith in God, or do we use it when we hit our thumb with the hammer? I'm not putting forth some dogmatic conclusion that these words shouldn't be used (except perhaps in some rather obvious situations). I do have to say that I use some of them on occasion as do people whom I respect and find to be wise and Godly, people who I would go to for council. But it does seem that such speech, partly due to our culture, doesn't fit in with the meditation of whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, or praiseworthy (Phil. 4:8).
And on to another set of words. Those which when we capitalize we are referring to our Creator and when we have lower case we use in phrases similar to the ones discussed in the previous paragraph. Before getting into reading blogs and moving to the new city I hadn't heard professing Christians use such phrases. I rather took it for granted that one didn't need to be using the name of Christ or one of the given names of God for it to be taking the Lord's name in vain,to be taking something flippantly which should never be taken flippantly. It seemed rather cut and dry to me. After all, we begin our petitions before our Father with these words it just seems so incongruous to use them for exclamation or emphasis.
However, it doesn't seem that this view is as wide held as I thought it was. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure what to do with that. On one hand "god" is used to refer to pagan gods or those things which we set up as false gods. It isn't a word which always refers to Y-w-h. And Lord is something which is used to apply to people even in the Bible. So is Messiah for that matter. Is it only wrong for Christians to use such names that specifically apply to our creator or savior as curse words, or is any generic deity term inappropriate and disrespectful? I tend to lean towards it all being wrong. Not grey, but wrong. Mainly because it is the same titles which we use to address Y-w-h as well as Christ and I don't think that they should be cheapened with common vulgar use.
I know these thoughts could very easily get me labeled as some sort of legalist, denying the freedom we have in Christ. But it just seems to me that this speech really has no redeeming value for Christians. I don't think that it does anything to bring us closer to God, to edify our brothers or to be perfect as our father in heaven is perfect. Perhaps a case could be made for the witness factor of it, and I'd be open to consider that, but it does seem a bit shaky ground.
I shall leave you with these references:
James 3:1-12Eph. 4:29-32Phil 4:4-9Ps. 19:14Matt. 12:31-37Matt. 5: 21-22
Try this online Bible resource for easy reference as well as phrase look up. You'll have access to multiple translations as well as the original language and commentaries.

CS Lewis and the benefit of writing

2005-07-04T18:19:00.000-05:00

Recently a contest was held here. The general premise was to find 6 women who were of an intellectual bent, preferably a CS Lewis like bent, who wanted to collaborate on a team blog. Thirty one women entered and then a panel of 10 judges chose the winners. I considered entering, but in the end decided that I didn't want to commit to a group blog. And although I still almost entered just for the fun of it, I decided against that as well. It did however get me thinking about the nature of using our God given intellects to pursue the things of God. And more specifically the practice of putting these pursuits down in writing. The question becomes, why is it worth the effort to put those things we are taught by God down where others can read it?
Reading an author like Lewis it seems pretty obvious. After all, he is an amazing writer with the ability to convey truth simply and beautifully. He can compose an entire character in one sentence and change your world in one little book. The answer to the question seems to be then, you write what you learn for the benefit of others. It is for the encouragement of those around you and the lifting up of the saints. However I don't think that is all of it. Now, I obviously didn't know Lewis personally. My mother wasn't even alive when he was. But I have read his writing and others who have written about him, and what stands out to me is that he lived what he wrote. He wasn't simply writing out principles that he wanted his neighbor to live by. Or even writing things out to point people to when they were getting it wrong. He was writing what he was living. Now, I could make some safe assumptions based on history and human nature and say there were probably days that were more filled with joy than the others. There were probably times that he echoed St. Paul's cry of "what I want to do I don't do, and what I do do I don't want to do." But I don't think that changes that overall he talked the talk and walked the walk.
And that I think is the chief benefit to writing down what we have learned. When we take the effort to write out the truth that has been conveyed to us first it sinks deeper into us. It requires a greater understanding of a subject in order to explain the subject. (For example, I understand a fair bit of what my scientist husband talks about concerning work. When he says it, it makes sense. But I couldn't teach it to you to save my life) So when Lewis writes about the nature of love and how that is reflected in the Christians life to those around them it requires a true understand and relationship with the nature of love in his own life. And this greater understanding I believe leads to a greater living out of the principle in your own life. The second part of having this greater understanding and putting it in writing in some public forum is that others then know you have that knowledge. They know that you know what it is you are suppose to be doing. When you don't do it, they can call you on it with confidence because you have already professed publicly "yes this is what I am to do".
Now, honestly that is a bit uncomfortable to write. Because I can go back through my old entries here and read the titles and get this sinking feeling in my stomach because I know that I haven't been doing well in that area lately. And further more, there is sometimes a hesitation to put something down because I know if I attempt to live like I don't know that truth I will get called on it. But this is all the more reason to write. If I speak disrespectfully to my husband I don't want it to simply slide by. If my priorities around the home get mixed up I want it brought to my attention. And I desire the sort of sorrow that comes from re-reading old posts and being convicted that I am not living like I should for Godly sorrow leads to repentance and repentance to salvation which brings no regret.
So, read my posts. See how it says I know I'm suppose to be living. If I'm not, say something. And go, write posts of your own and live that way. And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Children in Worship

2005-06-23T14:20:00.000-05:00

Most people who have talked to me any length of time know my general thoughts on children in worship. Namely, that they should be there. And preferably participating. And even more preferably, not looked on as an inconvenience or annoyance by those around them when they inevitably make noise. I know many people who also share this view and have this goal for their churches and their families. It is a great and wonderful thing to be in the company of the saints praising God with your family and other families around you. Until recently my reasons for this view point were really rather narrow. Mostly based on personal preference and a desired culture to be created in our family. However, I recently listened to a sermon that brought up something else which I think is wonderful to consider when taking on the subject of children in worship. You can listen to the sermon here. I should say though I haven't listened to much beyond the introduction and the whole sermon isn't about children in worship, but about marriage.

The pastor points out (while addressing the rather larger under age 8 contingent in the church) that in Ephesians Paul addresses children and what their roles in the christian community are. He addresses them because he expects them to be present. They were there, and expected to be there, at the gathering of the church at Ephesus. Of course there are things in the book of Ephesians that are above the understanding of children, but these things are still profitable for them to hear. And they especially need to hear the things which are directed at them.

The church isn't just about one age group. Any age group, whether it be birth to five years, six to eighteen, twenty to forty, forty to sixty, or sixty to the grave. The church is about just that-the church. Most of the instruction will naturally be geared towards those who are already Christians and more mature Christians at that, but children are just as much a part of things as the rest of us. Which means encouraging and taking great joy at their presence, even when it means you miss a word or two of the sermon.

Gifting vs. Requirement

2005-06-21T14:19:00.000-05:00

Unlike many of my musings prior to this, I have no conclusion to the subject I am putting forward. I have a leaning, but no solid foundation from which to prove it. So these are simply the thoughts bouncing around in my head at the moment trying to come to some sort of conclusion.
There are many things that are a part of the Christian life that are required of us. These are not things which we have to be specifically called to or have some sort of gifting for. Like love for example. We don't need an individual calling or gifting to know that we are to be loving towards our brothers in Christ, to be loving towards those in need of God, and to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, soul, and mind. We can know for certain that our orders to love aren't based on anything within us. And on the flip side of that, there are things which are spoken of as individual gifts. Speaking in tongues for example. Speaking in tongues we are told is something to be desired and is a good gift, but it isn't required of us. We are not in any sort of sin because we aren't speaking in tongues.
Now, what about things that aren't as clear as that? I'm quite certain there are different examples of this, but the one that has been on my mind lately is mothers staying home with their children instead of having a career outside the home. I've already explained in this journal that I believe in being a housewife, but there is a huge portion of your life that will be spent taking care of children if you are a housewife. What brought this to the forefront of my mind was reading a blog (a really great one btw) where the comment was made by the author that she wasn't planning on staying home full time with her children because it wasn't where her gifting was. Now on one hand I have heard this sort of idea many times before. The idea of being called to stay at home, where the calling is spoken of as an individual thing. I've also heard the calling to be at home spoken of as a broader calling to all Christian women. I'm not sure where I fall. And what is far more important, I'm not sure where the truth is.
Some of this is a moot point to my personal application. I am a housewife, I am staying home to raise my children rather than paying someone else to do it for (or having a family member do it). I will probably homeschool our children at least for the first few grades, ensuring that they have the foundation that we desire for them. These are all things which I consider a great, great good and feel very privileged to be able to do. However, is this good a requirement? Or is it just a good blessing from God? Do we by making this a requirement teach the traditions of man as the precepts of God? The chief reason this concerns my personal life is I need to know what to teach my daughters. I need to know if this life I've chosen is something I need to prepare my daughters for as something that is required of them or to simply encourage them towards it as something which is very very good. Also, I'm suppose to be encouraging my Christian sisters towards righteousness and especially instructing those who are not yet at the same stage of life that I am. So what is the instruction? Is it simply that choosing home is a blessing from God and a blessing to you and your family? Or is it that as a Christian woman she (whoever the she is) is called to be home? To be honest, I have no idea.
Our Biblical examples of wives and mothers show us women who are industrious. They provide for their families in many ways, not just through housework and cooking. But they were most definitely at home. They were home minded. But unlike love, I don't necessarily see the implicit command. Once again, I am just not sure.
So, that's where I am at on this matter. If my thoughts solidify any more, I shall post an addendum. All other's thoughts are appreciated.

And Sarah Honored Abraham

2005-05-20T14:16:00.000-05:00

If there is ever going to be be an entry which get's me branded as some sort of fringe extremist, it is going to be this one. That is if anyone ever reads any of this, which at this point doesn't seem likely. My thesis is pretty straight forward: our speech towards our husbands reflects our heart towards them and the majority of us fall very short in this area.
Husbands are the head of the home, the head of the family, and- most important to this entry- the head of their wife. The relationship between a husband and wife is described in Ephesians as a type of that of the Church and Christ. In order to understand what this means I believe we need to understand was it means for Christ to be head of his church. So what does it mean that Christ is the head of the Church? Like in a body, which we are also likened to, the head is that which controls the rest. In your body the head is where all major decisions are made, where your personality rests, where your features lie that truly distinguish you from all others, and where your ability to communicate lies. Essentially everything that makes you uniquely you comes from the head. Now of course the head won't get very far without the body, I'm not trying to say the head can exist by itself. But the head is that which governs. And so in the church it is Christ who governs us his body. He defines our appearance, our personality, everything which makes us uniquely Christian.
So how then are we to act towards Christ? What should our hearts be towards Him? What should we address Him as? That is how I believe we are to address our husbands.
How does this look though? And I put forth in the first paragraph that many of us are lacking in this area-perhaps even in sin, which certainly isn't an accusation that should be thrown around lightly. So what do I mean?
I believe our answer is found in 1 Peter's description of Sarah and Abraham. It says, "For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear." Sarah understood what Abraham was to be in her life-an earthly shadow of that relation we have with Christ. And her speech reflected her heart on the matter. I don't believe we can toss aside her calling him lord as something simply indicative of the culture. I'm certain that it was common at that time for wives to use that title, just as sir or ma'am used to be common in the U.S. However, God calls it to our attention in His word that this was the manifestation of Sarah honoring her husband. It is taken out of the culture surrounding it and put to us directly as an issue of the heart. And further more, it isn't simply left there for us to go, "wow, that Sarah was pretty Godly." Rather we're told that we're her daughters if we do likewise, if we do that which is right. Wow. That's a pretty weighty statement. It's something that I would like to be able to claim.
I think that too much of the way we speak to our husbands is out of habit, not out of godly devotion. We may respect our husbands, but have fallen victim to that which we witness in others' address of their spouse. We see on TV, in the movies, and among family and friends the picture of the brow beaten husband, or the husband whose free time revolves around the "Honey-do" list, or of the husband who is constantly the butt of jokes. These are the habits I believe many of us have picked up. The little pet names that we have for our husbands don't convey respect, they no longer convey love, but rather a familiar disregard for the man who is suppose to be second only to God in our lives. We may not have brow beat our husband yet, but still choose to address him as the world addresses husbands-as some bumbling inferior partner in a supposed 50/50 relationship.
Am I then suggesting that we all walk around beginning addresses to our husband with "lord"? Not necessarily, although that is certainly an option. I'm saying that our heart will be reflected by the way we speak to our husbands and that our heart first needs to be honoring of our husbands. Speaking from a rather recent personal experience, I think that we can easily fool ourselves into thinking that our hearts are right because we address our husband affectionately. I'm not questioning though whether or not wives have affection for their husbands. I'm questioning whether we're honoring our husbands through our speech to them.
So like I said, I'm not suggesting that in order to obey this passage we need to literally call our husbands lord. But here is my litmus test....can everything you say to your husband be prefaced with a title of respect without being contradictory? An example: "Honey (said a little strained) didn't I tell you the garbage needed to be taken out?" Can a title of respect, such as lord, legitimately go before that sentence? Of course not. There isn't anything respectful or honoring about it. So while I don't think that "lord" needs to be used, it needs to be implied when speaking to our husbands. It should be able to be heard even if it is not being said. And personally I think it can be wise to use some title of respect, even if just every once and awhile, to make sure that your speech will sustain it. If it doesn't, perhaps a heart check is in order.

Female Justifications For Sin

2005-05-18T14:15:00.000-05:00

I believe there is a great problem in the female half of Christendom. Namely sin which we think we have some justification for. I would assume that if you go up to 95% of Christian females and asked if they thought it was ok to sin the answer would be an unequivocal "No." However, we as women (and yes, I'm including myself in this indictment) are constantly behaving in sinful ways and attempting to justify it.
What I am speaking of is our menstrual cycle and that which we refer to as PMS. (Men, please don't stop reading here. I promise that is as much detail that I am giving). Every month we go through something which God designed into our bodies as a way of bearing children. It produces physical discomfort (for some people, lots of physical discomfort), hormonal swings, and general inconvenience. And most of us at some point during the time will let it effect our joy. We will get depressed or snippy or even down right difficult to live with. We will sin against those we live with (most often our husbands) and if we realize we've done something wrong we don't ask forgiveness for having sinned against them but rather blame it on "that time of the month." I say all of this from first hand experience and as someone who gets extremely sick each month. Physically speaking, I don't have it particularly easy and I have let this effect my joy and how I treat those around me. There isn't any excuse for us women to do this. None. The Spirit of God in us is more powerful than any physical situation, big or small.
Now, there are things which we can do to help ourselves not be tempted. One is to let those we live with know that we need rest. Don't try out of vain pride and some sense of false sacrifice to do all that you do when feeling well. Furthermore, recognize where you are tempted and pray to God for strength. He has given us all that we need for righteousness, and difficulties of PMS certainly weren't something that took Him by surprise. And finally be open to correction from your husbands. This shouldn't be an off limits topic for him. We need to be open to correction about all sin.
I'd also put forward the similar situation that chemical birth control can cause. And here men, is where you might want to listen. Birth control is medically induces hormonal swings. You are fooling your body into thinking that you are pregnant so you don't actually get pregnant. There are going to be hormones involved that can cause unpleasant mood swings. Even though it is a medicine it is still your sin and something that isn't ok. I believe it is possible to be on birth control and not sin. But perhaps it could be argued that it isn't- that the hormones are simply too powerful. In that case, don't be on the medicine. We are to flee sin, to flee temptation, and if birth control causes sin, we should flee that. This is something very important for a husband and a wife to consider when making decisions about birth control.
Of course, what I have put forth here I think can be applied to about any physical or medical condition. Sin isn't justified in the case of any disease or any medication. The rules didn't suddenly change when all these medical discoveries were made. We didn't surprise God with our ingenuity and create a situation that wasn't accounted for.
So I say as a reminder to us all, go and sin no more.

As Unto The Lord

2005-05-16T14:14:00.000-05:00

Submission. Specifically submission of a Christian wife to her husband. What is it about this topic that is so difficult? It would be easy to blame the feminist movement for womens' reaction against this teaching, but I don't think they have all the blame. We, men and women, are sinful. Sinful beings want their own way. We don't want to submit to a spouse, a teacher, a boss, the government, and certainly not to God. Submitting is the admission that someone is more important and holds more shares than you do. You are not the end all and be all of your universe. It is not that easy to truly grasp. It is not that easy to truly live.
Back to wive and husbands. So, we take submission and pay good lip service to it. We talk about husbands being the head of the household. We complain if they don't lead. We say we want a strong man. But how do we truly understand submission? Don't we usually want our way? We might promise to love, honor, and obey, but put to the point if asked to give up our desires for something a fight usually ensues.
So the "church" (by which I mean, most people I have either read or sat under who have talked about this subject and quoted others who talked about this subject. I know I'm making a generalization) teaches that wives submitting to their husbands is about God creating order in the home. Afterall, it is impossible for two people to agree about everything at all times. So someone needs to have the final word when a consensus can't be reached and God has decreed that the final word is the husband. It is presented as a 51/49 shareholder split. But is this truly Biblical submission? I put forward that it is not.
Alright, before you throw rotten tomatoes, tell me to go back to 1620, or assume I'm some rebel Amish girl who acquired a computer, let me explain.
I think the key aspect of the command, "Wive submit to your husbands as unto the Lord" (Eph 5:22) is the "as unto the Lord" part. How are Christians to submit to the Lord? Are we to fight with God, debating his commands whether big or little? Are we to finally agree to do things God's way after days or weeks of resistance? If Christ was over for dinner wouldn't we desire to do each and every thing in a way that would most please Him? God is suppose to be pre-eminent in all that we do, in all that we are, and in every decision that is made. We are to joyfully obey His commands, for doing so shows our love for Him. We don't always understand every aspect of why God commands us to do something, but we don't need to. We can immediately and joyfully obey without anymore information than the command given.
And that is how I believe wives are to submit to their husbands-as unto the Lord. It isn't a 50/50 split as the world would teach, it isn't a 51/49 split as much of Christendom seems to believe. It is a 100/0. The husband has all the shares. And this isn't something which should be fearful or a cause of bitterness. God has all the shares in all things and it is He who set the world up this way and it is ultimately Him who we submit to when submitting to our husbands.
I don't do this perfectly. I don't submit to God perfectly either. But I'm suppose to. And thus, with His grace and strength, will continue to do better both each day.
More later on how this practically plays out.

Why I'm Not a Stay At Home Mom

2005-03-13T14:09:00.001-06:00

Two words: Job security. I'm not a stay at home mom because in about 18 or so years, a few more if we have more kids, I'll be obsolete. Let me back up and explain.
I don't work outside our home, I don't bring in any sort of income, and I have a little girl with whom I spend my day. But make no doubt about it, I'm not a stay at home mom. I'm a housewife. Now, perhaps the distinction doesn't seem to be that big of deal? Afterall, on the surface the job description seems pretty similar. The difference though lies in whom I am serving. Ultimately of course I am serving and obeying God when serving my family, but down the chain of command who comes next? I put forth that for a stay at home mom it is the kids and for a housewife it is her husband. And that is why I am housewife. I am about my husbands business, not my kids.
Don't mistake me, my daily activities are centered around feeding, clothing, training, and loving on this baby of mine. But it isn't because my world revolves around her, it is because I love my God and my husband. And as I see it this provides job security. If I raise my children right, in about 16 years or so they will be adults and capable of taking care of themselves. They will move out, go to school, find jobs, get married, and have kids of there own. There won't be much of a market for those who can change diapers with there eyes closed and shuttle 6 people around in a minivan. But when they leave I'll be where I was before they got here- in a home with my husband. It is that relationship which is always going to be here and him who will always require my service. I'll always be a mom, there's no doubt about that, but my children's need for me will diminish over the years. My husbands will not.
Further more, I have known of too many couples who have kids and then spend the next twenty years of life focused solely on them. The children learn nothing of a good marriage or what it means to be a husband or a wife because mom and dad have forgotten that they were those things first. And when all is said and done, the kids move out and mom and dad have no relationship and shock everyone when they announce their divorce over Thanksgiving dinner.
So, I'm a housewife. I'm in service to my husband. It is his empire that I tend.